Some time during the week I'll get a text message from a dancer that usually goes along the lines of "Working 2nite cu l8r?" I'll reply "Love to see you, what time are you starting?" Invariably I will get the most dreaded text message I can receive from a dancer. "8ish" I will instantly flip into an eye rolling, foot stamping, teeth gnashing conniption. 8ish. Ugh! Not 8, not 8:15, not 8:30, 8ish.
A lot of dancers have my number, I wouldn't be surprised to find out my number is written on the dressing room wall "In case of a slow night call 971-4……" This is my personal neurosis I know. What really irritates me is this. I get into the club at "8ish" and wait. And wait. If they had given me a fixed time like 8:30, I can decide how patient I want to be. If a dancer invites me in I will wait for her. Where things get ugly is when 8ish comes and goes and the dancer is still missing in action. When does 8ish expire? With 8:30 I know that 8:31 she's late and can decide that she's not showing up and leave or talk to somebody else. 8ish is intentionally vague.
I tend to be soft around the edges, I don't go after people's hot button, but 8ish is selfish. It's just a lazy way to get a verbal commitment from a customer without having to hold yourself to a specific time. A dancer wants me to come in and spend my time and money but she won't give me a time. If you are not going to be there until 9, just tell me. If that is later than I want to stay I won't come in, if you tell me 8ish and don't show up until 9. I'll either will have left or decided to talk to another dancer. In either case I'm ticked off. If you are not willing to give me a basic commitment of a time, then don't ask me to come in.
From a purely sales point of view it a profoundly stupid thing to do. You are bringing your customer in with an expectation of spending money, surrounding him with competitive products, and then irritating the customer. All you are doing is putting your customer in the position to spend his money else where then giving him the motivation to do so. Every regular I know has been invited in by a dancer only to have her not show up. I've have had girls call me to say she is in the car, on her way, then never arrive. Even if you personally have never left a customer hanging, the odds are some other dancer has. It's in the back of his mind.
As much as some dancers trust me, I know it's in the back of their mind that I might do something stupid with my hands. It will always be there. While I may not do anything, there are tons of other guys that will. It's guilt by association. I'll never escape that. The same is true with dancers. You'll always have that association of being flakey about time. I'm not asking that all dancers keep a rigid schedule like the guards at Buckingham Palace, but if you invite me in, al least give me a time you can actually make.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Friday, August 8, 2008
Fishin’ ‘n Strippin’
This maybe a sure sign of brain damage but I always seem to notice correlations between dancing and fishing. What makes this more bizarre is I don't fish. Maybe hitting that bar stool with my head did more damage than I thought.
Lures vs. Outfits
Lures are bright, colorful items designed to attract the attention of the fish and get him to bite. Dancers call them outfits. Most outfits are usually colorful and they have frilly things that move to get customers attention. Many fishing lures have spinners and wigglers to get the fishes attention. A lot of lures have shiny bits that sparkle and reflect the light, kind of like jewelry. Lures also mimic other things, the look like small fish or shrimp. Outfits mimic different looks, like catholic school girls, nurses, or Marilyn Monroe. The outfit and fishing lure pretty much do the same thing. This might also be because the typical guy in strip club has the effective IQ of a large mouth bass. The sad part is that if you did an exit pole at a club door, most guys could tell you every detail about his favorite dancer's boobs but couldn't tell you what she was wearing if his life depended on it.
No Fish here
A lot of dancers will try different clubs to see where they can make the most money, pretty much like fisher's trying different locations to see where the fish are biting. It's the same problem for both. There is no effective way to really determine how many customer/fish are going to be there. Fish and customers have many of the same behaviors. There can be a lot of customers or fish, but they aren't biting or tipping. Some times you'll get pestered by the same undersized fish that keeps taking your bait. For the dancer there is the customer who doesn't want to tip, but insists on eating up her time. On more than one occasion I know the dancer has wanted to fillet a pesky customer. At least bash his head in with a bat.
Tackle box
A tackle box is a small easy to carry container filled with essential supplies for a successful outing. The tip purse is a small easy to carry container filled with essential supplies for a successful outing. Instead of hooks, bait, fishing line and cigarettes the tip purse has lip gloss, breath mints, cell phone, and cigarettes. A lot of tip purses kind of look like tackle boxes. They are squared off, hard sided, all you need to add is a drawer for the fishing weights. I'm always kind of amazed at the dancers that use lunch boxes for there tip purse. I always had bad memories of my Johnny Quest lunch box that would never stay closed. Its one thing to have your P&J sandwich flop out on the floor, its another matter entirely when your wages for the entire night gets scattered across the floor in a dark bar.
I've always wondered if many dancers are as superstitious as fishermen. The dancers I know aren't, but that's a pretty small sampling. I ran across this link I thought was absolutely hilarious: You might be a red neck Jedi (www.incompetech.com/gallimaufry/jedi_redneck.html). This is my lame attempt at similar humor.
You might be a Redneck Stripper if
1) You have repaired your dance bag with duct tape
2) You have used your 7" heel to knock out a bass you just caught.
3) Your tip purse also has shotgun shells in it
4) You have to put your good teeth in to perform on the main stage
5) You have at least two outfits with flannel
6) You refer to the IRS as "Them damn revenuers"
7) You know the name of Daisy Duke's jeep
8) Instead of getting a boob job you bought a bass boat
9) Your tip purse is made by the famous fashion designer "Crown Royal"
10) Your cousin keeps getting kicked out because the manager won't let your boyfriend in the club
Lures vs. Outfits
Lures are bright, colorful items designed to attract the attention of the fish and get him to bite. Dancers call them outfits. Most outfits are usually colorful and they have frilly things that move to get customers attention. Many fishing lures have spinners and wigglers to get the fishes attention. A lot of lures have shiny bits that sparkle and reflect the light, kind of like jewelry. Lures also mimic other things, the look like small fish or shrimp. Outfits mimic different looks, like catholic school girls, nurses, or Marilyn Monroe. The outfit and fishing lure pretty much do the same thing. This might also be because the typical guy in strip club has the effective IQ of a large mouth bass. The sad part is that if you did an exit pole at a club door, most guys could tell you every detail about his favorite dancer's boobs but couldn't tell you what she was wearing if his life depended on it.
No Fish here
A lot of dancers will try different clubs to see where they can make the most money, pretty much like fisher's trying different locations to see where the fish are biting. It's the same problem for both. There is no effective way to really determine how many customer/fish are going to be there. Fish and customers have many of the same behaviors. There can be a lot of customers or fish, but they aren't biting or tipping. Some times you'll get pestered by the same undersized fish that keeps taking your bait. For the dancer there is the customer who doesn't want to tip, but insists on eating up her time. On more than one occasion I know the dancer has wanted to fillet a pesky customer. At least bash his head in with a bat.
Tackle box
A tackle box is a small easy to carry container filled with essential supplies for a successful outing. The tip purse is a small easy to carry container filled with essential supplies for a successful outing. Instead of hooks, bait, fishing line and cigarettes the tip purse has lip gloss, breath mints, cell phone, and cigarettes. A lot of tip purses kind of look like tackle boxes. They are squared off, hard sided, all you need to add is a drawer for the fishing weights. I'm always kind of amazed at the dancers that use lunch boxes for there tip purse. I always had bad memories of my Johnny Quest lunch box that would never stay closed. Its one thing to have your P&J sandwich flop out on the floor, its another matter entirely when your wages for the entire night gets scattered across the floor in a dark bar.
I've always wondered if many dancers are as superstitious as fishermen. The dancers I know aren't, but that's a pretty small sampling. I ran across this link I thought was absolutely hilarious: You might be a red neck Jedi (www.incompetech.com/gallimaufry/jedi_redneck.html). This is my lame attempt at similar humor.
You might be a Redneck Stripper if
1) You have repaired your dance bag with duct tape
2) You have used your 7" heel to knock out a bass you just caught.
3) Your tip purse also has shotgun shells in it
4) You have to put your good teeth in to perform on the main stage
5) You have at least two outfits with flannel
6) You refer to the IRS as "Them damn revenuers"
7) You know the name of Daisy Duke's jeep
8) Instead of getting a boob job you bought a bass boat
9) Your tip purse is made by the famous fashion designer "Crown Royal"
10) Your cousin keeps getting kicked out because the manager won't let your boyfriend in the club
Monday, August 4, 2008
Aliens invade the Lucky Devil
Sometimes a night out at strip club can be an off experience. I had one of those nights. I decided to go down to PDXBlackBook night at the Lucky Devil bar. It's a smaller club, one stage, and a few tables. They are going supposed to have some entertainers from the PDXBlackBook web site there. Specifically one of my favorite dancers (Natalia) is there.
The festivities start at 9pm, I arrive a little after and the place is not very crowded. I planning on spending about an hour, More than likely Natalia will be busy, she's both strikingly beautiful and talented performer. On top of that when you talk to her you realize you're not the smartest person in the room. Normally I'll send her text to see if she will be working, but tonight I show up unexpected. I'm kind of crazy that way. I don't have that much of night life.
I say hello the Natalia and head to the bar to get a drink. There are six people at the bar when I walk up. I like to joke at the Dolphin there are "alcohol free zones" where they won't serve you drinks. These are the tables that are a bit out of the way, that tend to get ignored. At the Lucky Devil part of the bar is an alcohol free zone. I watch the bartender take care of group of customers at the other end of the bar, I watch the bartender get a drink for the guy next to me. I watch the bartender go back to the other end of the bar to wait on some customers who walked in while he was giving change to guy next to me. After helping them the bartender walks to the till and starts text messaging on his cell phone. Completely oblivious to the world and waiting patrons around him he stood texting away.
In Douglas Adam's "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" series of books he described a creature called the Ravenous Bugbladder beast of Traal. According to the book "the Ravenous Bugbladder Beast of Traal is a beast so mind bogglingly stupid that it believes that if you can't see it, it can't see you." If you wish to see one of these creatures in the wild just head to the Lucky Devil on Wednesday nights, it's tending bar. This guy sat with his back to the bar, facing the wall sending text messages. Note to Lucky Devil management, you might want to inform your wait staff that the guy standing at the bar, with the 20 dollar bill in his hand, trying to get your attention WANTS TO BUY A DRINK! Just an idea.
I watched in slack jawed amazement as the bartender stood with his back to the bar, tapping away on his cell phone that's clutched against his chest like a small child hiding a pilfered candy from his parents. Does this guy really believe that as long as he faces away from the bar nobody will notice he's sending text messages? My jaw fell even further when he finishes the text and walk down to the end bar and starts talking to a bouncer. I moved exactly three chairs further down to another open section of the bar. The beast suddenly can see me and heads over to wait on me. "What can I get for you?", "Um, the same thing I've been trying to get from you for the past ten minutes when I was standing over there". Fortunately the drinks are only $4.50, which makes the wait not quite so painful. My mood improves noticeably at the thought of reasonably price drinks.
The BugBladder beast efficiently makes my drink and I'm off to the stage with change in hand. The first dancer gets on stage. My buzz from getting a cheap delicious drink from the Beast fades instantly I watch this dancer. She woodenly walks through her routine. She visibly sighs when she realizes you haven't left the stage. She oozes annoyance as she walks around the stage. There were only two people at the stage, hardly enough money to make it worth her while. But she's not doing much to get new customers to the stage. During her entire set she barely makes eye contact with anybody at the stage. She looks past you, not at you, as if she doesn't see you, you're not there. Hey, she must be the Ravenous BugBladder Dancer of Traal, a dancer so mind boggling….. Oh well, Contact the men in black, we've got aliens at the Lucky Devil. I've only paid out two bucks and I feel ripped off. I've truly become a cranky old man up past his bed time.
Rocket and Natalia are up next. In absolute stark contest to the first dancer they put on excellent performances. They draw you in a make you feel like they want you to be there. After this I head to the video lottery machine. Natalia is going to be tied up with another customer, when she's done she'll come find me.
Now that I know where to stand the Beast turns out to be a pretty good bartender. I get another drink. Not quite so cranky I head over video poker machine. I like to think I'm reasonably competent technically. I should be able to operate a video lottery machine. Not today. I put in five bucks and all the buttons go black except for one button. Despite the fact the button is label: "cash out/print voucher" I push it. The button does exactly what it says. It cashed out and printed a voucher. I've turned a five dollar bill into a paper receipt and the buttons are still black. Wow, that was fun. I invest more money into the machine and manage to learn how to operate the machine. Natalia stops by, but I'm done. Its 10:30, time to head home.
The festivities start at 9pm, I arrive a little after and the place is not very crowded. I planning on spending about an hour, More than likely Natalia will be busy, she's both strikingly beautiful and talented performer. On top of that when you talk to her you realize you're not the smartest person in the room. Normally I'll send her text to see if she will be working, but tonight I show up unexpected. I'm kind of crazy that way. I don't have that much of night life.
I say hello the Natalia and head to the bar to get a drink. There are six people at the bar when I walk up. I like to joke at the Dolphin there are "alcohol free zones" where they won't serve you drinks. These are the tables that are a bit out of the way, that tend to get ignored. At the Lucky Devil part of the bar is an alcohol free zone. I watch the bartender take care of group of customers at the other end of the bar, I watch the bartender get a drink for the guy next to me. I watch the bartender go back to the other end of the bar to wait on some customers who walked in while he was giving change to guy next to me. After helping them the bartender walks to the till and starts text messaging on his cell phone. Completely oblivious to the world and waiting patrons around him he stood texting away.
In Douglas Adam's "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" series of books he described a creature called the Ravenous Bugbladder beast of Traal. According to the book "the Ravenous Bugbladder Beast of Traal is a beast so mind bogglingly stupid that it believes that if you can't see it, it can't see you." If you wish to see one of these creatures in the wild just head to the Lucky Devil on Wednesday nights, it's tending bar. This guy sat with his back to the bar, facing the wall sending text messages. Note to Lucky Devil management, you might want to inform your wait staff that the guy standing at the bar, with the 20 dollar bill in his hand, trying to get your attention WANTS TO BUY A DRINK! Just an idea.
I watched in slack jawed amazement as the bartender stood with his back to the bar, tapping away on his cell phone that's clutched against his chest like a small child hiding a pilfered candy from his parents. Does this guy really believe that as long as he faces away from the bar nobody will notice he's sending text messages? My jaw fell even further when he finishes the text and walk down to the end bar and starts talking to a bouncer. I moved exactly three chairs further down to another open section of the bar. The beast suddenly can see me and heads over to wait on me. "What can I get for you?", "Um, the same thing I've been trying to get from you for the past ten minutes when I was standing over there". Fortunately the drinks are only $4.50, which makes the wait not quite so painful. My mood improves noticeably at the thought of reasonably price drinks.
The BugBladder beast efficiently makes my drink and I'm off to the stage with change in hand. The first dancer gets on stage. My buzz from getting a cheap delicious drink from the Beast fades instantly I watch this dancer. She woodenly walks through her routine. She visibly sighs when she realizes you haven't left the stage. She oozes annoyance as she walks around the stage. There were only two people at the stage, hardly enough money to make it worth her while. But she's not doing much to get new customers to the stage. During her entire set she barely makes eye contact with anybody at the stage. She looks past you, not at you, as if she doesn't see you, you're not there. Hey, she must be the Ravenous BugBladder Dancer of Traal, a dancer so mind boggling….. Oh well, Contact the men in black, we've got aliens at the Lucky Devil. I've only paid out two bucks and I feel ripped off. I've truly become a cranky old man up past his bed time.
Rocket and Natalia are up next. In absolute stark contest to the first dancer they put on excellent performances. They draw you in a make you feel like they want you to be there. After this I head to the video lottery machine. Natalia is going to be tied up with another customer, when she's done she'll come find me.
Now that I know where to stand the Beast turns out to be a pretty good bartender. I get another drink. Not quite so cranky I head over video poker machine. I like to think I'm reasonably competent technically. I should be able to operate a video lottery machine. Not today. I put in five bucks and all the buttons go black except for one button. Despite the fact the button is label: "cash out/print voucher" I push it. The button does exactly what it says. It cashed out and printed a voucher. I've turned a five dollar bill into a paper receipt and the buttons are still black. Wow, that was fun. I invest more money into the machine and manage to learn how to operate the machine. Natalia stops by, but I'm done. Its 10:30, time to head home.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
The Pricing Paradox
On weekend mornings I walk the mile or so to the local grocery store to get my meal for the day. The exercise helps me maintain my slim girlish figure (provided the Pillsbury dough boy has a slim girlish figure) and limits how much I buy. When you have to physically carry your food home it tends to limit your impulse buys. While walking by the local gas station something occurred to me. When I started hanging out at the Dolphin gas was $1.45 a gallon, and my favorite drink (screwdriver) costs $3.50. Typical tip at the rail was $1 dollar and a couch dance cost $20. The price of gas is now $4.00, my favorite drink costs $7.50. A Typical tip at the rail is still a dollar and the price of a couch dance is still $20. In stark contrast to the rest of the economy tipping at strip club has become a progressively better and better deal. Unfortunately this savings comes at the expense of the dancer.
It occurred to me it would really difficult to raise prices. The biggest problem is that all the pricing continuity in a club comes from the management, not the dancers. Dancers tend to come and go. It's a job not a career for most. It's to the club advantage to keep the price the same. The less the customer spends on the dancer, the more he has for drinks, gambling, and food. There is really no incentive for them to increase the price, all it would probably do is drive customers to another club. One of the D2 managers had the bright idea of raising the price to $25. The dancer would still get $20, but the club would a get a $5 dollar "couch tax" per dance. This nearly resulted in a dancer revolt. Pretty much all the girls had worked out with their regulars where they would be working next. When faced with a club with zero top girls and less regulars. The manager abandoned the plan.
For me the price increase would result in my purchasing less dances. I would still spend the same amount of money. I would just get less for my dollars. I budget my money in how much I'm going to spend as opposed to how much I'm going to get. In order to implement a price increase would require all the dancers to raise there price at once. Trying to get every dancer to agree to do one thing is like trying to herd cats. I suspect most would be afraid they would lose their customers and charge the old price. Also the $20 dollar price has a major convenience factor; it's the denomination that ATMs issue.
One dancer did raise her price to $25. She did this on her own accord. She was very professional and honest about it. When I asked her for dances she told me she charged 25 and that was her price, not the clubs and if I didn't want any it was OK. I went ahead and bought some dances from her. The way she went about handling increased price was really impressive, it's very difficult thing to raise price. However, I didn't buy any more dances from her after that. She was ending her career as a dancer. She had just completed her school and was going to go out and get a "real job". I think she had several loyal regulars and was pretty much just dancing to cover some expenses, not really looking to make a living at it.
A tiered pricing scheme would be another approach. This is the VIP room concept, Instead of just one product you have a series of products each increasing cost. The trick is to create the perception that the more expensive services are worth more. The VIP room cost more, but it's worth more. I'm not sure the current VIP experience justifies its price. A half hour is $250. A song is typically five minutes when you factor in the time it takes to switch between dancers. In a half hour you can get six dances, or $120 dollar. I don't think the current VIP experience rates more than double the price. I'm curious how many customers repeat buying VIPs. I don't think the current VIP creates that feeling. They need to throw in some swag. Give away a free pass so they customer doesn't have to pay cover next time. Cheap give away items like the use at trade show is also good. Its amazing the effect of giving somebody a ball point pen can have. One year we gave away this really clever fold up pen at a trade show. For the next two years we had people coming up and asking for more.
It's a peculiar paradox that something that perceive as expensive, strip clubs, are becoming a progressively better deal. It's kind of weird, but a couch dance or stage tip is worth exactly what you pay for it. It's purely an entertainment service. If you can create the experience where the customer feels like he's getting his money worth, you can charge what ever you want.
It occurred to me it would really difficult to raise prices. The biggest problem is that all the pricing continuity in a club comes from the management, not the dancers. Dancers tend to come and go. It's a job not a career for most. It's to the club advantage to keep the price the same. The less the customer spends on the dancer, the more he has for drinks, gambling, and food. There is really no incentive for them to increase the price, all it would probably do is drive customers to another club. One of the D2 managers had the bright idea of raising the price to $25. The dancer would still get $20, but the club would a get a $5 dollar "couch tax" per dance. This nearly resulted in a dancer revolt. Pretty much all the girls had worked out with their regulars where they would be working next. When faced with a club with zero top girls and less regulars. The manager abandoned the plan.
For me the price increase would result in my purchasing less dances. I would still spend the same amount of money. I would just get less for my dollars. I budget my money in how much I'm going to spend as opposed to how much I'm going to get. In order to implement a price increase would require all the dancers to raise there price at once. Trying to get every dancer to agree to do one thing is like trying to herd cats. I suspect most would be afraid they would lose their customers and charge the old price. Also the $20 dollar price has a major convenience factor; it's the denomination that ATMs issue.
One dancer did raise her price to $25. She did this on her own accord. She was very professional and honest about it. When I asked her for dances she told me she charged 25 and that was her price, not the clubs and if I didn't want any it was OK. I went ahead and bought some dances from her. The way she went about handling increased price was really impressive, it's very difficult thing to raise price. However, I didn't buy any more dances from her after that. She was ending her career as a dancer. She had just completed her school and was going to go out and get a "real job". I think she had several loyal regulars and was pretty much just dancing to cover some expenses, not really looking to make a living at it.
A tiered pricing scheme would be another approach. This is the VIP room concept, Instead of just one product you have a series of products each increasing cost. The trick is to create the perception that the more expensive services are worth more. The VIP room cost more, but it's worth more. I'm not sure the current VIP experience justifies its price. A half hour is $250. A song is typically five minutes when you factor in the time it takes to switch between dancers. In a half hour you can get six dances, or $120 dollar. I don't think the current VIP experience rates more than double the price. I'm curious how many customers repeat buying VIPs. I don't think the current VIP creates that feeling. They need to throw in some swag. Give away a free pass so they customer doesn't have to pay cover next time. Cheap give away items like the use at trade show is also good. Its amazing the effect of giving somebody a ball point pen can have. One year we gave away this really clever fold up pen at a trade show. For the next two years we had people coming up and asking for more.
It's a peculiar paradox that something that perceive as expensive, strip clubs, are becoming a progressively better deal. It's kind of weird, but a couch dance or stage tip is worth exactly what you pay for it. It's purely an entertainment service. If you can create the experience where the customer feels like he's getting his money worth, you can charge what ever you want.
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