There are a lot of things customers don’t get about dancers and the job of stripping. There are a few things dancers, even the smart, experience ones don’t get. By don’t get, I mean they understand but don’t really internalize it. What I don’t think a lot of dancers get is that a strip club can be the most miserable place in the world to hang out.
I’ve bitched about this before. If you got rid of the dancers most clubs would go under in probably less than a month. The music is way too loud and the drinks are way too expensive. Not to mention a healthy percentage of clubs are run by sleaziods. There is sort of implied verbal contract you become a “regular”. When I arrive at the club I’ll wait specifically for her. I’ll turn away any other dancer that comes by until I see the one I went to spend time with. Ideally, she’ll make an honest effort to see me as soon as its possible.
The “honest effort” is tempered by reality. She may be tied up with another customer, she may have some personal issue she needs to sort out on the phone. She may not realize that you’re in club. Sometimes the process of waiting for the dancer can turn into an exercise in tolerance. A series of songs you utterly cannot not stand is be being blasted at levels that can flatten a bunker, you just paid $8 bucks for a watered down drink, and you have to wait fifteen minutes to get you change. On top of that another dancer you don’t like is working you over to buy dances like a loan shark collecting a debt.
What’s keeping me there is I want to see my favorite dancer and I feel obligated to buy dances from her. I could buy dances from another girl, but then I feel like I’m betraying her and potentially causing drama with another dancer. Even in the best of situations one dance interloping on another’s regular can be a bad thing. This process of enduring a situation creates a feeling that the dancer owes you a debt. This is a false expectation on my part. It is a buyer/seller situation. If the dancer is constantly making me wait too long, it’s up to me to decide if I want to keep spending money on her.
This a fairly easy decision to make with a grocery store or a plumber. I don’t have an emotional attachment to Albertson’s. This isn’t such an easy decision with a dancer, because I do have an emotional attachment to her. I do take it personally if I feel like I’m being strung along. This is where a lot of customers get it really wrong. They take it as a personal affront. I’ve seen more than a few blog posts about this. Some rant about how a dancer is stupid and throwing driving away this wonderful customer. A lot of flawed logic gets thrown out “I’ve spent $$$$$$ of dollars on her”, which is true but the customer got a lot of dances and entertainment for the money. It’s not like he was just throwing away money.
From a customer point of view it’s really easy to let yourself think that a dancer is more interested in you than she really is. It’s much more than the fact she gets naked. She pays attention to you, asks how you are doing, she’s excited to see you. It may just be a job for her, but it can be a very reaching thing for a customer. For the dancer it’s one of the pitfalls of the job.
What always amazed me is how fast dancers recognized I was thinking about asking them out and proceeded to shoot me down. I was one of those moments when you realized that you are completely out of your depth. As much as I’d like to think I understand the industry I’ve fall into this type of thinking. There are some warning signs I watch for in my self to avoid going down this path.
One of the biggest things I’ll watch for is how I react then I say good bye for the night. When I begin to feel like she’s just walking away and abandoning me I’m starting to stray into a bad frame of mind. For me it’s best to walk away for a while at this point. If I find myself getting mad or jealous I’m missing the whole point of hanging out at a strip club.