One of the fastest way to piss somebody off is to tell them
how to do their jobs. While I’m hardly telling dancers how to do their jobs,
there are a few things that some dancers never truly get. I’ve been friends with
many dancers through their entire careers. From baby dancer, to the now it all
yearling, to the I own this pro dancer, to burned out veteran. Some dancers exist in spite of their customers, not because of their customers.
I’m so much sexier when I dance to a song I love
No, no you’re not. You are just not. You either understand
stage presence, know how to move to a beat, and point your toes or you don’t.
Loving song will make it more enjoyable for you, but for the customer (me) not
so much. I’ve watched dancers perform to songs the hate, so much so they take
off their heel and hurl it at the DJ. But a good dancer is a good dancer. Naked
or not, they know how to dance. They can make the hokey pokey look sexy. Bad
dancers, not so much, they usually look like somebody being tasered to a sound
track. I imagine most dancers use the “I’m so much sexier when I’m dancing to a
song I like” rational to justify playing a song they know the crowd will hate. You
are not sexier. Who am I to judge what’s good and bad? I’m the customer. I’m
the one tipping. Name one activity that’s better when you’re forced to listen
to a song you hate at ear splitting levels? There isn’t any. Your set isn’t
sexier. It is worse. Like, I’m going to skip your set and go to the bathroom
worse. It’s much more enjoyable experience for me when I get to listen to a
song I like at ear splitting levels. Do I tip more when a dancer plays a song I
like? Absolutely I do. It’s a much better experience.
I’m a middle aged professional. I tend to hang out at the
club early evening with a lot of other middle age guys. Playing Hip Hop for
this crowd is a waste of time. To me hip hop is just beat poetry, with one beat
and no poetry. I don’t like it. A lot of people hate the music I listen too.
That’s fine. The difference at the club is I’m paying for the experience.
People aren’t going to pay for a bad experience, no matter how sexy you think
you are.
They didn’t say anything so it must be OK
One thing dancer’s do I really hate is pulling my glasses
off when I’m sitting at the rail. I can’t see without my glasses, so I can’t
see what see what she is doing. I need my glasses to drive so I feel exposed
when some stranger taken my glasses and start to play with them. They also are
really expensive. One slip of the hand and I’m out several hundred dollars. The
last time a dancer tried to take of my glasses. In the past I would just smile
and go along with it, this time jerked my head away and asked her not to do
that. She was completely shocked. So much so she stopped her set and proceeded
to start lecturing me. She explained in great detailed she had been dancing for
six years at several clubs and everybody else loved it when she took their
glasses off. She ended the lecture by
telling me I was really weird and walked off stage shaking her head. Did some
of her customers like having her play with their glasses? Some did undoubtedly.
I would bet that most were like me and disliked it but didn’t say anything.
I hear a lot of dancers complain about losing a regular to
another dancer. The usual snarl is “I wonder what she’s doing in the VIP?” I
think a lot of dancers would be surprised to find out it isn’t what she’s
doing, but what she isn’t doing. For me VIPs are expensive, I really don’t want
to spend it listening to a dancer bitch or spend time on her phone. If you make
me wait, or play little games trying to cut short the time. Or it may have
nothing to do with the VIP at all.
I hang out at a strip club to relax and have fun. Not to nag
people not to do things, more so since I’m paying them for the pleasure of
their company. It’s harsh, but it’s a lot easier to move on to a new dancer
than try to talk to the offending dancer. When I’ve tried in the past they
usually smile, apologize and keep right on doing what they’ve always done.
That’s their choice, my choice is to move on to somebody who doesn't give me heart burn.
Fuck you pay me, Fuck you do something
It’s not how hot the dancer looks, its how she makes you
feel. Normally when a really attractive person pays attention to you it’s a
wonderful thing. It makes you feel good about yourself. The flip side when somebody
really attractive snubs you or treats you condescendingly it really strikes a
nerve. I don’t know how many times I’ve had a really hot dancer plot down next
to me, let out a long sigh, then proceed to treat me like I was customer number
7241 at the DMV. Later I’ll overhear her complaining at the bar that nobody
wanted to buy dances from her. If you think I’m going to waste your time before
you sit down then why bother? I can go to bars all over the city to get snubbed
by women for free. I’m certainly not going to pay for the privilege.
Looks only go so far, you are going to have to talk to the
customer. A lot of dancers will take on a stupid girl persona when talking to
customers. A lot of times they do better this way. Yes, a lot of strip club
patrons don’t like talking to women that are smarter than them, but I think
something else is at also at play. When a dancer looks at a customer vacuously
and acts like her last thought died of loneliness, she forces the conversation
to be about him. He’s now the center of attention. It’s his ego or his problems
that are important. Somebody attractive
is now paying attention to him.
If you think you are so hot that breathing in my general
vicinity is enough to get me to pay you then you’re probably not going to make
money. Granted, that last statement is a bit of an exaggeration but it isn’t
that far from the truth for some dancers. I know a lot of these dancers are
just burned out on trying to hustle customers. But they need to address the
burn out, not bitch about customers. Just sitting around complaining about the
customers will just burn her out further.
It’s ok, I’ll apologize later
This is relevant to sales in general, not just strip clubs. Regardless
of what you sell, you will form a relationship with your customers. Just like
any other relationships there are good and bad ones. I try to be very
conscientious about being a good customer. Most dancers initially try to be
conscientious as well. As the relationship progresses over time things will
change with some dancers. They aren’t quite as prompt returning from the
dressing room. They will slowly drop the act of actually giving a rip about
your life. Eventually conversations devolve over time to being exclusively
about her, and how you giving her money will fix these problems. Not all
dancers fall into this category, but some do. I think a lot more dancers fall
into this category than most would admit too. You can hear them at the bar
talking to other dancers, explaining that they know their regular is here, but
they have something else to do. They’ll apologize later. I don’t care what
industry you’re in, taking your customers for granted is the first step in
losing them.
I know what my customers want
Actually the correct statement is “I know what my customers eventually want”. There’s a difference
and it’s actually a big difference. The issue is people will only work so hard
to get something. If you make what you’re selling to difficult to deal with
people won’t. The classic example of this is Microsoft and Apple. I’ve sat in
meetings with Microsoft product managers who “knew what their customers
wanted”, but they were convinced that customer would put up with 10 minute boot
times, bloatware, updates, random adds, etc. They were wrong. Apple came along
and made a very specific point to make their stuff to boot quickly and minimize
any distractions from the customer task. 15 years later, Microsoft’s desktop
business is still big but declining, they have a token presence in the mobile
market, and have been chased out of the embedded market.
Many dancers have a similar attitude to Microsoft. They
think they have a lock on their regular and they’ll put up with whatever
bullshit they throw at them. People will only try so hard to give you their
money. There is always somebody who will do the same thing for less hassle.
