I was looking at the some photos from the PDXStrippie awards and the image of (I think) Lark on the pole really struck me. I couldn’t believe how much the pole was deflecting. The pole was really moving. It looked more like a catapult than stage fixture.
Image Copyright AmbeRed (2010)
I went into engineer mode and started to take measurements. I know I’m violating copyright law by modifying the images, but hopefully AmbeRed photography won’t mind too much. It’s a pretty cool image. I took a look at the AmbeRed site, some really talented stuff there.
Anyway, I put in some reference points to make some estimates. I can’t assume the camera was perfectly level when the photo was taken. To compensate for the camera angle I first drew a line perpendicular to the vertical edge of the pole platform. I’m making the assumption that the platform is relatively square. I think counted the number of pixel offset from a second reference line that was straight relative to the edge of the image. Using that pixel offset I drew a reference line from the left edge of the pole in red. This is the perpendicular line to show where the left should be it was no deflected. I then drew a second line in green from the center of pole at the base to the center of the pole at its highest point. I was amazed to see that the pole was both tilting and flexing.
Assuming the pole was 2” in diameter I estimate that the pole was deflecting (both tilt and bending) of seven to eight inches. I think the pole was held in place by weights around the base of the pole. The tilt is probably the result of the edge of the base lifting up against the weights.
The thing to keep in mind is when the pole deflects eight inches, the weight of the dancer suspended shifts eight inches. That is an enormous amount of energy. Have somebody jump off an eight in curb on to your hand for reference. I can only imagine how difficult this pole was to use. Besides the normal stresses the dancer has to deal with, there is the additional force of her weight moving around. That is a lot of force on her hands. Plus if she lets go with one hand the pole will shift. Releasing the top hand will result in the pole returning to a more vertical position. The lower the grip the lower the moment arm applied to the poll. Releasing the lower hand will have the opposite effect. That will increase the moment arm, resulting in the pole deflecting even more. The second she lets go with either hand the pole is going to become a moving target for her to grab.
The flexing is even scarier. If there were any cracks in the pole material the flexing will make them bigger until it breaks. Considering she is roughly three feet in the air, moving, and in a prone position, that would have resulted in a really nasty fall. On top of that the pole will act like a spring trying to catapult the dancer off the stage. I have a lot more respect for the dancers that did pole tricks at the awards.
I recently read a dancer post where she blogs about not liking regulars. This got my attention, since I am one of those dreaded regulars. She had some legitimate points. She didn’t like having to rely on regulars and she didn’t like the dealing with regulars who wanted to date them. In a nut shell, regulars are unreliable and are too much drama. It struck me that being unreliable and too much drama is two top complaints regulars have about their favorite dancers. I think it’s more an issue of supply and demand. The real issue is how many customer dollars are chasing the available dancers.
One of the major perks of dancing is it has probably the most flexible job schedule imaginable. Granted dancers don’t get paid when they don’t show up, but it’s difficult to think of another job that allows the same level of freedom. Dancers can take a month off, and be able to go back to work. If most folks don’t show up for work for a month, they might as well not show up at all. Getting back to the not showing up, not getting paid problem this is why dancer don’t like relying on a regular. One of the major reasons the schedule is flexible is because of the money they can make. If you can cover your bills by working two or three days a week you have a lot more freedom. This lets you literally work one week and take the next week off. Not only does this gives you flexibility in the your scheduling, it also gives you flexibility in your customer base. You aren’t dependant on any particular one.
This only exists if there are enough customers to guarantee she can make money. When you run out of customers the flexibility goes away. If you are not making money the job can become incredibly inflexible. You have to work, no matter how bad you feel or what is going on or your out on the street. Landlords don’t care if things are bad at the club. He wants his rent. In these conditions, money from a regular becomes much more important. I’ve noticed this from my own personal experience. The amount of money I tip at club really hasn’t changed much over the years. In theory, what I tip should actually be declining in value as the cost of living goes up. What you can buy with the $20 from a dance is much less now than it was ten years ago. Yet, what I tip has become an increasingly large percentage of what the dancer makes.
This results in the customer having more control over the dancer’s schedule. Missing when a regular comes in can really impact her income. It really sucks when the customer cancels at the last second or doesn’t show up at all.The ability to pay your rent may depend on if a particular customer shows up. A flakey customer can be the worst. Just like a flakey dancer can be the worst. Dancers have a (not underserved) reputation as being massive flakes but they can get away with it if things are busy at the club. If she upsets a customer by not showing up it’s not a big deal, as there will be more guys to take his place. However, if the club is slow the opposite happens. If the dancer doesn’t show up, there are several other girls there to take her place. It’s supply and demand in action.
I don’t think there is anything inherently flakey about regulars or favorite dancers. It’s about control. And the party that is in demand has the control.
She also complains about most regulars wanting to start up a relationship outside of the club. This is a very legitimate complaint. All the dancers I know have had to deal with unwanted advances from customers. It’s kind of the catch-22 of regulars. To get a regular you have to start a friendship, but not too much of a relationship. The dancer has to balance being flirty and having fun with enough distance to maintain safety. It’s hard to do one without damaging the other.
The customer side is a little different. A lot of dancers try to guilt customers into spending more money. They go on about there bills or about the latest crisis in their life. I don’t mind this with my friends but somebody who is ultimately trying to get money out of me gets irritating. It can be difficult to balance with some favorite dancers. I like having the trust of my favorite dancers but it’s hard not too feel to manipulated.
Dancers aren't always the only ones with customers showing up unannounced at their door. I’ve had dancers show up at my door on multiple occasions. The real scary part is when you’ve never told them your address. Granted this is a more rare situation for customers than it is for dancers.
While this isn’t as economically driven as the scheduling/flakey issue, it’s still the same problem for both. Somebody is taking their problems and forcing you to deal with it outside the club. Trying to be a limited friend is tough for both customer and dancer. There are a precious few dancers I really consider friends and I don’t mind dealing with their issues outside the club. The other vast majority either irritate me or creep me out. There is a very personal side to the strip club industry that is difficult for anybody to navigate. However, it's a lot easier to navigate when you are making money.
So how hard is it to talk to somebody? In the business environment it’s a lot harder than it appears. Several years ago I had an incidentat a trade show. I was on the floor of the booth, not really doing much. The show was very slow, pretty much the only thing going on was assorted customer meetings in the booth’s conference rooms. One meeting ended and the independent sales rep brought the customers over to talk to me. He had to make a call to his boss and asked me to show the customers our new products. I went into Vanna White mode and wandered around the booth showing off our latest and greatest. They were one the largest manufacturers of ATMs and a very large customer of ours. They probably bought close to ninety million dollars worth of product from us every year.
My job was really just to keep them busy while the rep made his call. When we got to the section of the booth that was showing the product they bought we stopped and they started asking a few questions. Nothing important, so I thought. One the senior guys asked “When will there be a new version of this product?” We had just sent out a press release the week before announcing the new version, so I figured it was safe to talk about it. “Right now! We’re getting samples next month. I can arrange to have a sample shipped to you if you want.” I got a completely different reaction than I was expecting. Instead of the usual, “that’d be nice please ship it to…” I was met with dropped jaws and looks of confusion. Huh? The senior vice president curtly said thanks and the group walked out of the booth a short distance away. The rep showed up and headed over to talk the customer. Thinking my job done I wandered off.
About fifteen minutes later the sales rep came stormingback into the booth. He was angry, really angry. I’ve been yelled at shows before. My personal record is to be yelled at simultaneously in four different languages (German, English, Mandarin and Japanese). But this is the first time I ever felt my personal safety was in jeopardy. This guy was bulging vein, wild eyed livid to the point of being incoherent. The only thing I could pick out of his ravings was “Why did you tell them about the new version? Uhm, because they asked.” I may have just cost this guy a quarter of million dollars in commissions with that comment. That will get your ass beat.
Shortly I was in a meeting where I was the only person there without word president in his job title getting grilled. I found out they had just reached an agreement for the ATM company to buy a major upside of the existing version. The customer didn’t know about new version, that is until I told them. Now they were upset about being lied to. The upside sale was tanked, not to mention damaging the customer relationship. The rep raged at me “You fucking idiot you NEVER TELL A CUSTOMER about an unannounced product”. This is where Google is awesome. I pulled out my smart phone, Googled the new versions part number and pulled up a copy of the press release on a new site. “We did a press release last week” shoving my phone into the middle of the table. “it’s on the web. I assumed an important customer had been told about this rather than finding out randomly from a news site”. I looked at the rep. Tag, you’re it, asshole. Quickly the presidential firing squad changed targets from me to the rep.
This is a long story pointing out that a seemly safe comment can still get you killed. Trying to make conversation is really hard for me. It’s even harder when you’re trying to control the conversation. It’s tiring trying to steer the topics around touchy subjects with jerks that just won’t let something go. I’ve often thought that this has to be one of the more taxing parts of a Dancer’s job. The floor of the strip club is a business environment. The girls are there to make money and what they say directly can impact how much they make.
There is a level of stress associated with conversations like this. There are real consequences to everything you say. The worse is when somebody intentionally forces the conversation to things you don’t want to talk about. For me on the show floor its pricing. Every price in my industry is negotiated. There really is no fixed price and yet, people will pound me into the ground trying to get me to give them a price. I hate that. Dancers have to deal with customers who constantly ask for their "real names" along with a number of other annoying personal questions.
I also hate the idiots that insist on arguing with me. I hate physics majors at trade shows. They ask questions that either I don’t have an answer to or I can’t tell them because it’s proprietary. Or they’ll tell you that your product specifications are wrong. That’s it is impossible for a product to do what it’s claiming to do, even though its doing it right in front of him. The first couple if times it was fun debating with the guy. The 952nd time I have this conversation I’d rather bash his skull in with a brick. I think most dancers would agree with me that bashing the guy with a brick would be very satisfying but not profitable.
Since a business conversation is something you can’t just walk away from or tell the person to fuck off (usually), I'm forced into a contest of wits and will. It may be just talking at a show but the most exhaustive days I’ve had working at a show have been dealing with relentless know-it-alls that just want to argue. I try really hard not to be one of those guys when I talk to dancers. I hope I succeed.
I got to go see the inaugural Strippies awards and I have to admit I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I got meet a few folks in real life I’ve only read about on the internet; Notes_of_Art and Katstories to name a couple. I noted in an earlier post that this was the deal of the year. It was.
One of things that surprised me was how well it ran. Putting together a show of any kind is enormously difficult. I frequently set up and run trade shows for the company I work for. I guestimated once that for every five minutes of show there is at least eight hours of setup and planning. For a two hour show there are a ton of hours going into it. It’s really easy for things to get misplaced or screwed up.
I couldn’t decide if this was an award show with strippers or a stripper show with awards. There was kind of an odd quality to the pacing of the show. The performers there were amazing. This is the first time I’ve scene Ty Fyre perform and she is absolutely amazing. The performances in the show are testament to the fact that stripping can be an art form. It is much more than somebody just taking off their clothes. To engage and entertain a large crowd is incredibly difficult. Yet the finalist for stripper of the year: Natalia, Cricket, and Berlin managed to pull off that task. Kat really had some really funny and original material in her routine. If you think public speaking is difficult, try to be a comedian. Dieing is easy, comedy is hard.
I was surprised by how nasty some of the crowd was. I heard one of the go go dancers referred to as a TuanTuan (I can only assume her was talking about the dancer with the white furry leggings). And that was the nicest comment I heard. The others I won’t repeat.
One thing that always drives me nuts about running a show are the people who just show up and complain about little problems. There may have been 15,000 different things that had to happen for the show. 14,999 get done perfectly. Yet nobody notices that, but they will always point out the one that doesn’t. Most shows are utter chaos behind the scenes. That being said, I’ll point out some of the short comings. But I did notice the 14,999 details that did go right.
My biggest complaint about the show was the venue. Unless you were in the front row or standing on the furniture you couldn’t see anything. I was standing on the benches for part of the show. For the other part I was standing on the venue floor. The most I could see on the floor was just people’s heads on stage. I got annoyed when the go go dancers were on stage. All I could see was the tops of their heads bouncing around. Not terribly interesting. If they could have gotten the stage about three feet higher it would have been much better. Many of the performances were really hard to see. This is easy for me to say, I didn’t have to locate a venue.
The vendors that were setup in the hallway were cool, though I don’t think a middle aged electrical engineer was the target customer. The raffle was a test of patience. Listening to people read off numbers of missing tickets is about as exciting as being at the DMV. Maybe they should just show the gifts to promote the local vendors and contact the winners by e-mail.
The judges need to be more impartial. When the winner for best bouncer was announced the judge went into a rather long speech about what a great bouncer the winner was. I’m sure it’s true. But it kind of implies that the others aren’t (since they didn’t win). I voted for Steve from D2, he was the bouncer that guided by semi-coherent butt out of the club when I fainted. He politely ignored me when I said I was fine and needed to drive home when I wasn’t fine and shouldn’t drive home. That’s my personal bias but I’m not a judge.
More importantly, when the judges make statements like that people begin wondering how fair the voting is. One of the reasons for the Strippies was a response to some of the questionable practices of other contests. It doesn’t matter how fair and rigorous the voting practices are if people begin to think the process is rigged. I think the voting at the Strippies were 100% above board. The judges need to maintain that integrity. Decorum matters.
Watching drunk people you know can be really funny. Watching drunk people you don’t know can be really annoying, fast. I can die a happy man if I never hear “YOOOOUUUUNNN-YYYOOOOONNNNNN Jacks” again. They should cut off the MC’s from the bar a little earlier in the evening.
I think there is actually a lot of potential for the Strippies to reach a larger audience. If I could make one recommendation to the producers of the Strippies, it would be to immediately hold a meeting, review what went wrong and what they want to achieve next time. They don’t have to come up with solutions or plans just get things down while they are still fresh in your head. Just get them recorded. A year from now things will appear a lot different. The show post mortem meeting was probably one of the most effective ways I’ve seen to improve a show. Also they should invite outside people to the meeting as well. You view the world through the prism of your personal experiences. Getting a view from outside of your experience can be really valuable.
Another thing would be to turn on the auto reply on the e-mail voting account. It would be nice to know that the vote you sent was received. I’m looking forward to next year’s event. I’ll start creating my new e-mail accounts now. Remember, vote early, vote often.
