Recently I spent more time watching customers
than dancers a couple weeks ago. Two women walked in and immediately sat down
at the stage. The way they conducted themselves reminded me of Statler and
Waldorf from the Muppet show. They sat there they entire time and did nothing
but talk among themselves. Statler and Waldorf were better looking though. They
sat at the stage and glowered at the dancers. At first I didn’t think they had
any change, but after the waitress came back with the change they still weren’t
tipping.
Women customers at strip clubs seem to inhabit the
extremes. They are either the absolutely best or worse customers ever. Some of
it is probably because they get treated differently. The two that entered the club this night were
definitely among the worse of the specturm.
That sat at the stage and didn’t tip a dollar. Not a single penny. When
I put a single dollar up I infinitely out tipped them. Any divided by zero is
infinite and zero was what they were tipping. They spent most of their time
talking to each other. They watched the dancers in a disinterested way. Sort of
like a king absently watching a court jester while discussing the affairs of
state. There was nothing noble about their conduct.
I’ve noted this before women get held to a
different standard than men do in a strip club. They sat at the stage through
six dancers that I saw (twelve songs, approximately half an hour) and didn’t
put up a penny. Most of the dancers simply ignored them, or glared at them from
across the stage. One dancer tried to engage them. Once she got on stage she
immediately walked over the two women hopped over the rail and motor boated one
of the women. They still didn’t tip.
Apparently the two rail trolls weren’t
tipping the waitress either. After the second round of drinks the waitress
seemed to make it a point to not spend much time near them. They were equal
opportunity assholes. Important strip club safety tip: take care of your
waitress.
They sat at the stage for the almost the
entire rotation of dancers and didn’t put up penny and nobody did anything. The
manager walked by and ignored them. The DJ did say a peep, not even the
“Tipping isn’t a city in China
