Time Dialation

There is a unit for the measurement of time only used in the strip club industry: songs. As in “I go up in two songs” or “two songs will cost forty dollars”. You are buying the dancer’s time usually defined in songs. Some time VIP sales use the more mundane “minutes” methodology. For the most part, the industry sells time in units of songs.

This creates some problems. There are no NIST standards for the exact amount of time one song is. Typically a song lasts from three to four minutes. In theory the DJ is tasked with making sure each song falls into that range. In practice it tends to vary greatly from the three/four minute mark. Sometimes there are technical difficulties. Sometimes there are managers who insist on talking to the DJ while the song plays on. Other times the DJ needs to grab a quick smoke (of some sort), attend to biological needs, wants to irritate the dancer on stage, or just forgets.

From a customer point of view you want the songs to run long. You get more for your money. From a dancer point of view she’ll want the song to run short, she earns more per minute. If the song is too short that will back fire. The dancer is put in a difficult situation of either extending the song, or going short. This may piss off the customer who will feel ripped off and result in an argument. Continuing into the next song she risks giving away her time or setting a precedent that she owes the customer more time. Most dancers are pretty fair about time. A few have told me “thank you” after the song stopped roughly a minute after it started then ask me if I wanted another. Uhm, no.

Running a song long seems to be a favorite way for DJs to piss off dancers. I've seen a few times when a DJ decides to play the entire uncut version of “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” for that special dancer, stranding a dancer on stage for all 18 plus minutes of 60’s psychedelic goodness. This will usually enrage your average dancer. Another favorite trick is to start a song, stop it after a minute, and start another song. This puts the dancer is situation of getting her set extended for no benefit. Once the “second” song starts she’s stuck until it’s finished. Most guys at the rail quickly forget the first partial song, and the dancer may get into trouble if she abandons the stage.

I’ve noticed that dancers tend to use the term song slightly differently than customers. When Dancers refer to “song” it’s usually only for the time when she’s getting paid. Customers think of songs in absolute terms. A dancer will tell me she is going to do three songs for another customer and she’ll be back. The number of songs that go by before she returns will probably five or six. It will take probably one song for her to get the other customer get him settled on the couch, dance for three songs, take another song to collect the money and say good by (five songs). Then maybe one more if she goes back to check make-up or burn her outfit depending on the customer. Sometimes the maintenance can go on for longer than a couple of songs. Is she putting on makeup or painting the Sistine Chapel?

From the customer point of view he’s started counting songs the second she walks away. After exactly three songs have transpired he’s beginning to wonder where she is. I know I’ve come across as an impatient jerk to a couple dancers for this exact reason. Three songs came and went why is she making me wait? Until I learned more about the dancer’s job it was a point of irritation with me. I didn’t know any better at the time if the dancer if had explained things to me she would have made more money. When you add to this the experience most regulars go through with a dance who genuinely doesn’t give a shit you’re waiting, I have to be sympathetic to customer. I know there are massively egocentric customers out there, but getting upset with a customer because they don’t know any better just kills your money.