Does she or doesn't she, only the CDC knows for sure

Ethic’s isn’t usually a subject you associate with strip club. Yet, I found myself in an ethical dilemma a while ago. I’m going to be really vague about a lot of specific details about this situation. I cannot verify a lot of the major details, to avoid damaging somebody’s reputation through innuendo I’m going be vague, but I can get my point across without them. You generally don't think about health issues when you go to a strip club, but sometimes you have to.

There are some diseases that aren’t curable but not fatal either. Once you have it, you have it until you die. Most of the time the virus lays dormant, but occasionally flairs up and causes problem. There diseases usually require some sort of intimate contact or the exchange of bodily fluids to contract. Not really an issue for a customer at a strip club.

Sometime ago a dancer (Stripper X) at my favorite club had supposedly contracted one of these diseases. I didn’t find out about this until after she had left. I’m not sure if she was fired, quit or just decided to not show up any more. Dancers come and go at a club on a regular basis. I never really talked to her, but I heard later about Stripper X’s condition from a couple of different dancers I trust. Granted a lot of dancers are major league gossips, but I trusted these dancers to be pretty down to earth and factual about their stuff. However, I had no real confirmation, just trusted sources. Stripper X also lead a life style that was at risk for this type of disease.

Stripper X disappeared and I quickly forgot about her. It was a couple years later when I stopped by a different club to see a long time favorite dancer when I saw Stripper X working there. She was still using the same stage name, she even recognized me.

When my dancer friend sat down next to me Stripper X was the topic of conversation. After a few minutes of catching up I realized my friend know nothing of Stripper X's health risk. This left me with a little bit of a quandary. Do I tell my friend? The easy thing to do would be gossip, “Did you hear that Stripper X had gotten suspended for having...”. The problem with this is that I’m leveling a serious accusation without any real proof.

There are consequences to my actions. Customers talk crap all the time about dancers, but there is more to this allegation than the usual “I think she does more outside the club" type of comments. There are legal implications to this situation for the club. If a club knows that a contractor presents a potential health risk to customers, the club could be sued. One of the riders on the contracts I have to sign with trade show companies is an acknowledgement of health. Basically I have to state that nobody working our booth knowingly has a communicable disease. I’m not sure how much legal protection this really provides, but if somebody works a trade show with the bubonic plague and makes somebody really sick, the trade show company will basically say the company renting the booth space lied and they are liable.

The parallels between a renting space at a trade show and a dancer contracting are striking. I’ll blog about that later. Besides the potential legal aspects I don’t think a club would want to be known as the place a customer caught a serious disease from. This would be bad for business. The upshot of all this is that there is a fairly decent chance a new dancer could get fired over a rumor this. Getting somebody fired because you think that something might be true is completely unethical to me. A lot of dancers tend to live week to week financially. Getting fired at the end of the month could result in them losing their place to live. Oops I’m sorry about getting you fired and evicted, doesn’t really cut it if it’s a false claim.

Another really nasty thing about an allegation like that is it’s almost impossible to prove a negative. Even if you don’t have the disease, people may think it’s just in remission and you’re lying about it. The strip club industry isn’t that big. Even if you walk around with a copy of the results of your latest blood work, people can still think the document is fake or,” that was last week, what about now?” You can’t put the genie back in the bottle.

I was not going to mention the health issue to my friend initially. The only way to spread this disease is by sharing bodily fluids and wouldn’t be spread at a club under even normal conditions. Then my dancer friend, who is into alternate life styles. mentions that she is hanging out with Stripper X outside the club. This presented a direct risk to my friend’s health. Sorry, I should have told you about the land mines are not acceptable. I told her about Stripper X.

There is a broader issue of health when it comes to strip clubs. at what point are you too sick to go into a strip club? It’s an ideal environment for spreading illness. Even if you don’t get any dances, the dancer will usually sit right next to you, most of the time you are drinking something too. You have the trifecta of possible vectors: physical contact, airborne transmission, and ingestion.

Dancers are more at risk than the customers. I’ll probably only meet and talk to one or two dancers during a visit. The dancer we’ll probably meet a dozen or more people every shift. One thing I always hated about working big trade shows like CES or Comdex (when Comdex was big) was you were guaranteed to meet and shake hands at least one sick person. I’d say 30% of the time I worked large trade shows I came home sick.

The dancer also has the added problem of not being able to take sick time off. If she has to make rent she doesn’t have to a choice. She has to load up on decongestants and cold medicines and fake a smile. That is one of the most miserable part of sales Feeling like absolute shit, yet having to paint on smile and pretend you like dealing with a customer. That is longest conversation ever. 

How safe are clubs?

KPTV - FOX 12

I got asked about the recent shooting at the Mystic Strip club in the comment section of a previous post.  After doing a little research it appears that neither the victim nor suspects were customers. The club is just where the tragic incident occurred. There is nothing strip club specific about the incident. But it does raise the question, how safe do I feel at a strip club?

When I first start hanging out the club I was apprehensive. I had the same faulty thing most people have of strip clubs. That stripping is immoral, therefore immoral people (criminals) hand out there. Now I’m not even sure what I was thinking. This is definitely a case of my preconceptions being completely wrong.

The media will always trumpet report anything that happens at a strip club. They will always be sure to put “strip club” or “stripper” in the headline. Not because it’s particularly relevant, but it gets people attention and it will get better ratings. I’ve noticed that most news media now is more interested in ratings than reporting the facts. When you have a problem at strip club you automatically have sex indirectly involved. Sex sells news reports.

Get rid of the live entertainment and a strip club is just a bar. The safety of the club comes down to how its run and its location, just like any other bar. If a club takes security seriously will be very safe. If they have enough bouncers that are actively watching the crowd, you usually won’t run into problems. Bouncers are an active deterrent. Strip clubs tend to have more bouncers on staff than a typical bar.

I’ve noticed that strip club bouncers also tend to be more aggressive than typical bouncers. They have the added concerns of money and naked women. Dancers have to collect money from customers. I don’t care what business you are in, collecting money from customers can always be problematic. This usually doesn’t affect the honest customers as much since they are neither naked nor trying to collect money.

The serving practice’s of the bar also makes a big difference. The only time I’ve had real issues at a club has been with absolutely wasted people. Really hammered people do stupid things. A club that is willing to cut people off early won’t have as many problems as a place that lets patron get smashed. The fact that there are strippers doesn’t make a difference. It’s just simply they way the club is operated.

In my opinion the biggest factor in safety is what neighborhood the club is in. There are good neighborhoods and bad neighborhoods. You are far more likely to be victim of a crime in a neighborhood with a high crime rate. I’m more concerned with safety in the parking lot of the club in a bad neighborhood than when I am in the club itself. Again then it comes down to how the club is operated.

Strip clubs tend to be a bit more concerned about what goes on in the parking lot than typical bars. Dancers are escorted out to their cars at the end of their shift. A lot of dancers also smoke, which usually means there is somebody outside watching the parking lot grabbing a quick smoke between sets. The dancers have a vested interest in making sure the customers are safe. When you add the number of dancers in with normal bar staff there are simply more eyes watching what is going on.

In the 10+ years of hanging out at strip clubs I’ve only been two incidents that involved a bouncer having to intervene. One was a result of my own stupidity; the other was an encounter with drunk. Some guy who should have been cut off much earlier in the evening decided that I had taken the table he was sitting at. I staggered up to my table and began bitching at me about taking his table. Before he finished his drunken rant the bouncers had walked over and escorted him away.  

I’ve only seen one actual study that compared crime at strip clubs to other bars. Of course I can’t find it now that I’m writing about it. But it compared reported incidents at a strip club with another bar of similar size in the same neighborhood. The strip club came in with a lower incident rate. The police spent more time at the other club than the strip club. I don’t think the lower rate was because strip clubs have fewer problems, I think it was mostly because the strip club had bouncers on staff every evening, while the other club only had bouncers on the weekends. Problems that required the police to be involved at the regular club were taken care of by the bouncers at the strip club.  I think the ultimately result of the study was there really isn’t any difference between the two establishments.

The biggest problem with strip club safety is public perception. People have preconceived notions of strip clubs being dens of iniquity. The people who work and hang out at strip clubs must be morally corrupt. The reality is that the people who hang out at the clubs are your neighbors. The people working there are just trying to make a living and have a vested interest in keeping you safe. If you don’t feel safe at a club, you are probably not going to come back. That’s a quick way to go out of business.

Strip Club food Safety, revisited

I decided to revisit the strip club restaurant inspections reports. In general they improved. None of the clubs were under 80. This is an improvement over last time when two clubs in in the seventies. There were two noticeable exceptions. Casa Diablo (The Vegan Strip club) went from a perfect 100 to 86. Apparently they had no hot water when the inspector arrived. They got the hot water fixed, but that's always a little scary to hear.

Violation 3G, Critical Violation of OAR 3-501.16 Potentially hazardous food is not maintained at proper hot or cold holding temperatures, specifically:	Main prep cooler is holding at 60F. It was found out that the breaker had been tripped a few hours ago and had been turned back on and was cooling back down to 41F. Foods inside were not out of temperature for longer than four hours. The machine will be checked again to make sure it is holding below 41F.
THE ABOVE VIOLATIONS ARE CRITICAL ITEMS. These items were corrected at today's inspection. Please monitor to ensure that these violations do not recur.

The other exception got my attention since it was the club I hang out at. They nearly got shut down. When the inspector arrived on 5/17/2012 one of the prep cooler's had tripped the breaker and the food had gotten warm. 

iolation 3G, Critical Violation of OAR 3-501.16Potentially hazardous food is not maintained at proper hot or cold holding temperatures, specifically:	Prep cooler is holding foods at 43F-48F. All potentially hazardous foods were discarded after discussion. At the last inspection it was found that the breaker to the machine had been tripped. Today, this was not the case and the machine has been on all day. Have the machine serviced professionally, clean the condenser coil and make sure hot foods are not placed inside. A recheck will occur to check compliance. If this machine is not working properly and there is potentially hazardous foods inside at the next inspection you facility will be closed by this department.
Violation 990, Critical Violation of OAR 333-157-0030 (3)THE ABOVE VIOLATIONS ARE CRITICAL ITEMS. They must be corrected IMMEDIATELY or have an approved alternative procedure in place which must be corrected within 14 days, or the designated time period. Failure to correct these critical violations within the designated period may result in restaurant closure in compliance with Oregon Administrative Rule 333-157-0030. A reinspection to determine compliance will be made within 14 days.

The inspector came back week later and it appears that the cooler was working correctly but they had not gotten the unit serviced. Apparently the inspector wasn't to happy with the laissez faire approach to maintenance. The owner decided to throw out the old machine and buy a new one. 

Rule Violations and Requirements	Comments
Violation 3G, Critical Violation of OAR 3-501.16 Potentially hazardous food is not maintained at proper hot or cold holding temperatures, specifically:	Main prep unit observed holding foods between 42F and 47F. This included steaks, hamburger, and dairy products. The operator discarded the entire prep unit at inspection and will work from other refrigeration until another unit can be purchased.
Violation 99J, Not Critical Violation of OAR 333-157-030(8); RESTAURANT CLOSURE/UNCORRECTED CRITICALS All critical items have not been corrected. This facility is closed. This facility may reopen after 24 hours if: A) A recheck inspection by the Assistant Director confirms that all critical violations have been corrected; B) A closure dismissal order issued by the Division is delivered to the operator or person in charge; and C) The closed sign previously posted is removed by the Assistant Director. A restaurant may be reopened earlier than 24 hours following a voluntary meeting attended by the restaurant operator or person in charge, the Assistant Director, and the inspecting sanitarian, at which the provisions of subsections (A) through (C) of this section are demonstrated to be met.
An establishment that requires more than two reinspections per licensing year will be subject to an inspection fee for each additional inspection.

Sometimes I really wonder why owners decide to skimp on spending. Had the breaker tripper again the would have gotten shut down. There's probably more to the story, but this doesn't look to good. I rarely eat at strip clubs. I always assume the cook uses the same bathroom I use. That usually kills my appetite.

The number in parentheses is the change from the last inspection

Acropolis	90 (+15)
Blush	92 (-4)
Boom Boom Room	96 (+10)
Bottom's Up	90 (-6)
Cabaret II	92
Casa Diablo	86 (-14)
Dancin' Bare	85 (-12)
Devil's Point	89 (-5)
Dolphin 1	87 (+1)
Dolphin 2	86* (+3)
Double Dribble	84 (-8)
Dream on	91 (-8)
Hawthorne Strip	86 (+1)
Jody’s	100 (+1)
Lucky Devil Lounge	91 (+1)
Lure	96 (+19)
Mary’s	100(+12)
Montegos	98 (-1)
Nicolai st	100 (+2)
Pirate’s Cove	97 (NC)
Riverside Corral	95 (-5)
Safari	98 (+4)
Sassy’s	80 (+6)
Soobie’s	89 (-8)
Star’s Cabaret Beaverton	94 (+9)
Star’s Cabaret Bridgeport	91 (+8)
Sunset Strip	95 (+6)
Tommy’s Too	88 (-10)
Wild Orchid	98
Union Jack’s	88 (-4)

Washington County

Multnomah County

Clackamas County

The once and future heel

A lot of professions have shoes specific to job. There is everything from steel toed boots to anti-static sneakers. Stripping has its own custom foot wear too. What’s different about stripper platforms is that they don’t make any changes to the shoe to accommodate functionality. It’s definitely form over function in the stripper shoe world.

I’m not sure if this is a sign I’ve been hanging out in strip clubs too long or I’ve been an engineer too long, but I’ve actually experimented with trying to improve stripper shoes from a functionality point of view.  

The first thing I noticed is that the vamp does double duty in a high heel. It both retains the top of the foot to prevent you from stepping out of the shoe when you walk and it also bears a fair amount of the person’s weight as well. The angle of the insole pretty much wants to force foot off the front of the shoe. The vamp captures the front of the foot and the person’s weight is applied to the out edges of the foot, something that normally doesn’t occur when the foot is flat. If you look at the picture of the clear heel you actually see skin being crushed flat against the plastic on the outside of the little toe. The hard plastic also tends to focus all the weight on small points of the foot..

My initial idea was modify the vamp. The does double duty, it has to capture the foot and support the weight and look good. The problem is that most shoes are purely made for looks. The hard plastic may look cool, but you’re pretty much cramming your foot into a clear sausage extruder. The plastic isn’t going to give so the foot is forced into an unnatural shape to fit the vamp. I’ve seen dancers that used hair dryers to soften the plastic to fit the foot better, but this will weaken the plastic and the shoe will probably break a lot sooner. Breaking in shoes usually means crunching your foot into a new shape.

My thought was to create two separate pieces for the vamp. There would be an internal band that would be purely functional and an out piece that would be for looks. The advantage of separating the two pieces is you can different materials for each piece. You could use a more compliant material like elastic on the internal vamp. This would prevent the weight from being focused on a single point. The outer piece would be purely decorative. It could also be replaceable. Since it doesn’t have to be attached securely you could have multiple out straps to change the look of the shoe or to customize them.

I made a fixture that matched the basic shape of the insole and experimented with how tight and large an elastic band would have to be to effective. I quickly ran into a problem with elastic. In order to keep the foot from slipping the elastic had to be so tight it was very uncomfortable. Instead of an extruder the shoe became vice. Their might be some softer, more compliant polymers or other materals that would work better but that is out of my field of expertise.

One thing I was able to get work fairly well was to create a replaceable insole. Like any work shoe stripper heels can definitely stink after a while. I got my hands on a pair of old clear heels and went to work. I carved a pocket into insole of the shoe that would hold an aftermarket gel insert. Added a little Velcro on the bottom of the insert to keep it in place. It actually ended up working really well. You ended up with shoe that you could pull the insole out and either wash or replace it. I'm sure somebody has probably done this already, but I haven't seen it yet.

I think the real future is going to be printable shoes. 3D printers are actually becoming very affordable. I’m seeing a lot more examples of those that have been created with 3D printers.

3D Printed Shoes

I was thinking of creating a software package that would literally let you print a pair of shoes. More importantly the software would let you modify to the size and shape of the shoe. You could make the shoe wider and narrower to match your foot exactly. You could also add you own designs and logos to your shoes.

I’m not sure where the 3D technology is as far as strength and colors go. Most printers now can only do one or two primary colors. The shoes in the picture above and the black accents airbrushed on. But I imagine its only a matter of time before it becomes practical. Maybe I should create a kickstarter profile to develop a custom shoe making software.

Dancer Maladies

Here are some imaginary afflictions I see dancers getting from time to time. They are kind of silly, but I don't feel very serious right now.




Poleo
this is a dancer affliction where she exhibits extreme reluctance to move more than arms length from the pole the entire set. The dancer shows an aversion to approaching any customers. She will maintain physical contact with the pole at all times. This affliction is most commonly seen in baby strippers, but will occasionally be observed in more experienced dancers. It must be terrifying the first time on stage for a dancer. There really isn't any way to practice stripping, she get thrown to the wolves, literally. Have you noticed the expressions some guys have around the stage? Predatory would be the most accurate description of their looks. Most dancers get better and start to engage customers around the rail. Some dancers will exhibit Poleo when nobody is tipping. They'll just lean against the pole and glare at the crowd. I can't blame them, why give it away for free.

Recommended treatment: Money. Once the dancer learns that she’ll make more money engaging the customers she’ll release her death grip on the pole. Also dancers tend to glare less when they are being tipped.


Stripper Munchausen By Proxy Syndrome
This is where the dancer need for money results more and more outlandish stories being told to customers in hopes of greater financial rewards through sympathy. Stripper Munchausen by Proxy is sometimes shortened to the term Stripper BS. Seriously, I'd like to record some of these stories. I wonder if she is playing a game to see how ridiculous of a story she can get away with. I really hate it when a dancer I've know calls me up because I'm her 'only hope'. She should have called Obi-wan Kenobi instead. I already pay good money for the pleasure of your company. Please don't expect me to pay for your bad judgement. The sad part is when I hear what's really going on from other dancers. The real reason for your cash short fall is you had to post bail to spring your deadbeat boyfriend, not your cat needs triple bypass surgery.

One dancer gave me a long sad story about how she spent her last pennies buying food for her cat instead of paying her phone bill. Now her cell was going to be turned off and if that happened she wouldn't be able to schedule, which means she wouldn't be able to work, which would get her evicted and she and her well fed cat would have to beg for money at a freeway off ramp. Then in the same breath she told me how happy she was with the results the tooth whiteners strips she just bought were giving her. Whitening strips or phone bill? Either you have the worst decision making skills ever, or you're dumb as a box of rocks, or you are trolling a line of BS hoping some poor schmuck bites to save you the effort of actually having to work. Probably a combination off all three.

Recommended treatment: None. The condition can be mitigated some by the application of extreme amounts of sarcasm when the stories start.



Clydesdale Tourette's syndrome
This syndrome presents itself in the form of the dancer obnoxiously clicking her heels together on stage like a draft horse trying to count to three. Sometimes the dancer will kick the stage or slam the pole up and down in its fittings. Ladies I'll let you in on a little secret about guys. We will always notice a naked woman on a stage. Always. Do you really think that we suddenly look up and wonder where you suddenly came from? Holy shit, a naked girl in seven inch heels standing in the middle of the stage, where did she come from? At a strip club no less, wow, who would have thought. Yes, the guys are ignoring you for all wrong reasons, but we know you are there. I know the purpose of clacking your heels is point out that the guys aren't tipping and hopefully shame them into doing right thing. Doing it too much is one of the few things a dancer can do to insure that I won't tip. Also, don't slam a spinning pole up and down it wrecks the bearings. Do this too much and girls who do a lot of pole tricks will begin to plot your death. Your car will explode when you go to drive home one night.

Recommended treatment: High explosives and detonator packed into her heels.


Dancer Zombification
This syndrome presents with  the dancer being so distracted on stage she appears to have no brain function. Zombification’s primary difference Poleo is in the fact the dancer is simply going through the motions, she is simply working through a well practiced routine being completely indifferent to the customers. This is one of the few things I can empathize with dancers. I done presentations at a some trade shows where I don’t see the crowd. I just mechanically plod through the presentation like I’m talking to myself. I can imagine a dancer doing the same thing. She walk’s up the stage, the exact same guys are there from the last time she was up. She know’s how much she’s going to get tipped, the guys reaction, and what mindless comments the DJ will make. Of course, the primary cause of Zombie dancers is Zombie customers. There probably is nothing worse than customers who just sit motionless at the stage.

Recommended treatment: Ethanol taken orally, stat.

I got my gruntle dis'd

I was kind of excited when I saw the AngryStripper was coming to Portland. I had been following her situation since being terminated from the Houston Chronicle. I was amazed to see that Gloria Allred (or at least her firm) was going to take her case against her former employer. Gloria Allred is one of the highest profile lawyers in the county. I’d love to ask the AngryStripper about her.

She was scheduled to be in Portland on June 20^th at the Wild Orchid. I have to admit I was surprised at the location. The Wild Orchid is probably one of the last clubs I would have expected. To be candid, I don’t know much about the club. I figured she would have headed to one of the better known clubs like one of the Stars Cabaret locations or Devil’s Point but scheduling will make for odd bedfellows. I didn’t even know where the Wild Orchid was located. 

The first thing that struck me when I looked up Wild Orchid’s address is that the club was less than quarter mile from where an airliner had crashed in Portland. That plane crash is one of those memories that are burned into my psyche. At the time accident I only lived about a two miles from the crash site. I remember riding my bike there the following morning. The police had only taped off the aircraft's fuselage. The rest of the crash site is still open and you could still wander around and examine much of the wreckage up close. Seeing a jet engine stuck in hedge surrounded by twisted bits of wing leaves an impression. I still think about the crash every time I step on board a plane.

She is supposed to start at 9:30pm at the Wild Orchid. Almost nothing starts on time in the strip club world. I figured 10:30pm or so for the actual starting time. Since I have to be at work the next morning I’m a little reluctant to head out. I decide that I can drink a pot of coffee tomorrow at work and head out for the evening.

I arrive just after 9:30. The first thing that surprised me about the club is how small it is.  I’d estimate it’s about the size of a typical McDonald’s. It’s a lot smaller than most of the clubs I hang out at. The VIP area is basically a couple couches surrounded by some curtains. There are two stages in the club. Granted it's still a nice club, but it’s not the kind of club you’d expect to see feature acts at. Compared to some of the clubs I’ve been to in Texas it’s positively tiny. The crowd isn’t bad but not really spending a lot of money. The racks are mostly empty. At 9:45 on a Wednesday the stage sets are averaging $5 per song. You know you’ve been hanging out at strip clubs too long when you start auditing how much people are tipping. The bar staff definitely kicks ass there. I never had to wait for a drink.

I order a drink and grab a seat near the stage. I notice in the back somebody struggling a little with a pop-up banner. I used these things all the time at shows. After a little bit of work with some assistance from a bouncer a banner with the art work from the book is setup. Cool, maybe things will start soon. Nope, I wait an hour and no sign of the guest of honor. They had gone through the entire rotation of dancers and were starting to recycle girls. I was trying to decided how much longer to stay when the DJ announces that Sarah Tressler will take the stage at 11:30pm. Fuck. I decided to cut my losses and head home. I notice that a bunch of other guys are leaving at the same time I am. Probably coincidence but I wonder if they're ticked off too. 

The Wild Orchid ad listed 8pm, the tweets had 9:30, and the DJ is telling me 11:30pm. Why can’t strip club events ever happen at a reasonable time? Seriously, does the book buying public hang out at strip clubs at 11:30 on a Wednesday? To be fair this was probably meant to be more a media meet up than stage performance. I’m guessing the visit was more for the local bloggers than the general public. Portland seems to have more than it’s fair share of stripper bloggers. I’m still annoyed though.  Any interest in buying her book evaporated on the way home. The book is apparently made of her blog old posts, in which case I’ve probably read most it already. She does reference my blog in one of her posts. It would be cool if she left that in but I really doubt it. Links to external blogs posts don’t translate well to books.

A new scam

I ran into a new stripper scam a couple weeks ago. It wasn’t a very good scam but I’d never seen it before. I haven’t run into many girls trying to scam me recently. This is mostly because I only talk to dancers who have been working for the club for some time. Dancers who try to rip off customers usually don’t last that long. 

There really isn’t many ways dancers can blatantly rip off customers. Either they flat lie about the number of dances or the try to min-max a dance. A min-max dance is where the dancer does absolutely the least amount of work for the maximum amount of money. Typically she’ll start the dance halfway though the first song. Then end the last dance halfway through the last song. In between she’ll do as little as possible, mostly just posing. If it was possible to take a nap while doing a lap dance, she’d do that. This girl had a new strategy. She got to pay for all the dances up front and then tried to get kick out during the first dance. I'm pretty sure she'd keep the money, for her troubles. 

I normally wouldn’t have even approached this particular, but the waitress told me I should really get dances from her. The dancer was her friend and really cool, she also was having a bad day too. I don’t know why but it never ends well when a waitress tries to set me up.  Maybe it’s just confirmation bias and I only remember the terrible dancers. In any case they always seem to end up being a bad experience. But a few shots of Jack Daniels had pretty much erased any reluctance I had at that point, so I asked the waitress to invite the dancer over.

I recognized her when she sat down with me. She had been a pretty high profile performer about five years ago. You couldn’t open a copy of exotic magazine with out seeing her in an ad. Apparently her post stripping career had hit a bump and she was back dancing again. We chatted for a bit. She seemed a bit drunk, but I really couldn’t tell how much. Some people are better at hiding it then others. She asked for some dances.

She asked me to pay for the dancers up front. I’m fine with that. As a customer I’m guilt till proven innocent. Until I build up trust with a dancer she’s best served by treating me as a deranged psychopath. I paid for four dances. She started out by breaking a several club rules about what to wear and other things. Like I said, I’m guilty till proven innocent so I keep my hands at the 10 and 2 o’clock position by my side. If she wants to break the rules then that’s her business. She did a quick check to see where the bouncer was.

I’ve been going to the club long enough that the bouncers basically ignore me. I don’t have any special privileges but in the scheme of things I’m the least of their problems. I don’t drink too much, the dancers like me, I spend money.  As long as I don’t cause any drama they are happy to spend their time on more important things. The bouncer was else where in the club.

The dance progressed on normally until the bouncer returned. Once the bouncer was close she grabbed my hand and pushed it into an inappropriate location. I tried to pull it away but she was keeping where it was. It would have resulted in a pretty obvious tug of war so I left it where it was.  It was the least conspicuous thing to do. Also, I’m a nice guy but not a monk. The bouncer still ignored us and turned to walk off. The dancer then began to slap her ass really hard with her free hand and kept my other hand in place. She kept leaning back trying to get the bouncers attention. The bounce walked off anyway.

Once the bouncer walked away she let go of my hand. I put my hands back. As the second song started the bouncer returned. The dancer tried again to relocate my hands. This time I just kept my hands where they should be. She got frustrated. She was basically trying to get me kicked out for having my hands where they shouldn’t be. Unfortunately for her, neither I nor the bouncer was going to play along.

Eventually she switched to a more straight forward method. She just got up and walked off. I didn’t object. It wasn’t worth going after her for the money. After that day I never saw that dancer again. I suspect the bouncer probably knew what was going on the entire time. I’m pretty sure she got kicked out after trying that scam on a few guys. I probably should have said something if the dancer is scamming customers. It’s easier to keep my mouth shut. I’m just trying to relax and have a good time.