The Pitiful Princess

I recently read an article on Oregonlive about an exchange between a strip club owner and a columnist for the Oregonian. The author used deceptive tricks to promote a personal agenda instead of forming solid argument. I understand this is an opinion piece but and not an investigative report, but I just can’t pass up pointing out some of the methods she uses.

“As a feminist, I find strip clubs offensive and worry that they contribute
to violence against women and sex trafficking.”

She doesn’t like strip clubs and admits it right up front. But she couples the admission with a couple of accusations or violence and human trafficking.

Do strip clubs contribute to violence against women? Let’s do some quick math. The Washington and Oregon have dramatically different laws regarding strip clubs; consequently there are significantly more clubs in Oregon than Washington. I think Mcloughlin boulevard in Portland has more strip clubs on it that the entire state of Washington. Oregon has a population of 3,826,000. During 2009 there were 1167 forcible rapes in Oregon. If you divide the population by the number of rates reveals that one person out of 3278 was a victim of rape. In Washington (population 6,664,000) there were 2539 forcible rapes, which gives a rate of one person out of 2624 was a victim. Despite the fact their higher number of strip clubs, Oregon has a lower overall rape rate. This is a single data point, but at least it based on real information.

The accusation of sex trafficking I find extreme. Exactly why would a strip club owner want to get involved with sex trafficking? Dancers pay the strip club to work there. Exactly what would the advantage of sex trafficking be? The owner is losing a source of income. A club owner would risk a serious jail time to replace dancers that pay to be there. Why? A club is going to be inspected by the health department, the OLCC will make undercover checks, and random people (including police) will be walking in off the street. Not to mention other dancers trying to audition there. Trying to keep something like this secret in a strip club would be impossible.

By phrasing it in terms that “she worries” the author can cast any sort of accusation without having to provide proof. It’s her opinion. As long as it’s your own opinion you can make any claim you want regardless of facts. A lot of anti-strip club folks use this tactic. Since most of the public is unaware as to how clubs operate and what really goes on there, most people will accept accusations as fact. The other advantage is that it difficult to refute these types accusations. She wrote exactly one sentence of innuendo but it takes me an entire page to put together counter argument. An author can bury a subject in bullshit this way.

The author continues on the major point of the article; she doesn’t like the name ‘The Pitiful Princess’ for a strip club. I actually agree with her here but for different reasons. The name is stupid. Outside of it being alliteration, it has no other redeeming value from a marketing point of view. Why would you associate the word pitiful with your business. But it's his business so he can call it what ever he wants.

The author’s issue is a bit different. In her opinion his business name is offensive to the neighborhood. Since little girls are usually into being a princess and this will force parents to explain strip clubs to small children. I have five nieces and at some point in their life they’ve all been into princesses. They also wanted to be ballerinas and Broadway dancers too. I’ve been in that exact position. I was taking my niece to Fred Meyer’s in Beaverton when we drove past Stars Cabaret. My niece saw ‘Cabaret’ and got really excited. She wanted go there on her birthday and see the ‘cabaret’ dancers. I just simply explain to her that it was just a fancy name for a bar and there were no ‘Cabaret’ dancers. She was disappointed but that was the end of it.

I know that it’s always not that simple. There are a lot of bad things in the world I don’t want to have to explain to children. The author reasoning goes adult (sex) businesses should not use anything in their marketing that could be strongly associated with children. The problem is where do you draw the line? By picking a something very subjective you can bend the rules to what suits your agenda. Little girls are also really into cosmetics should Club Rouge change its name?

If you expand the concept to include adult issues that aren’t sex related a lot of fairy tales become bad things. Hansel and Gretel has cannibalism. The Princess and the Pea has a very subversive message, that the somebody is better purely because of their heritage. Basing somebody’s worth by the situation of their birth is the basis of bigotry. Should we censor the story?

The author is very honest in her opinion, she doesn’t like strip clubs. The problem is a starts with ideology then tries to make the facts fit it. Would the author be so upset if the Pitiful Princess was a second clothes store? Probably not. Most of the anti-strip club folks operate this way. They start out with an agenda and begin looking for any facts that support their opinion and ignore all the facts that don’t. This is a typical method a politicking. Where I have problem with articles like this is they take focus off where it should be. Sex trafficking is serious stuff, why focus on strip clubs when they aren’t the problem. It just wastes time and resources.

The author is complaining about the name, but a lot of groups are trying to shut down businesses using the same type of logic. There are a lot things out side my door I don’t like. Just because I don’t like them and find them uncomfortable doesn’t mean they should be banned.

Vote for Rocket

Normally I don't mention dancers directly, but I'll do a little hyping here. Vote for Rocket for Summer's hottest dancer. Anybody who helped organize the Tsunami Relief has my vote.

http://xoticspot.com/rocket

Remember vote early, vote often

How to date a stripper

You can’t. Just quit right now. I don’t get asked a lot of questions on my blog, but this question comes in more than any other. Why can’t you get a stripper to date you? The question is fundamental flawed. The question makes the assumption that there is something special about dancers. That there is some sort of secret trick that will always work. How do you ask a stripper out? How do you ask a waitress out or how do you ask a doctor out, it’s the exact same problem. What a person does for a living does not define who they are.

There are a thousand things you can do to make a dancer not want to date you. One of the best ways to make sure a dancer will never go out with you is to try and ask her out. Most clubs have rules against dating customers. You are a customer which means that her primary interest is to make money of you. That last fact can sometimes really hard for some customers to accept. Most people will decide what they want to be true then only acknowledge the things that confirm the belief and ignore the things that deny it. Unfortunately for dancers aspects of their job will lead guys to think they are interested in them. I suppose they are interested in their actually interested in some of their customers, but as customers not dating material. However, there are customers will just notice things like she pays attention to him and ignore the other things like she is doing this because she pays him.

Despite the overwhelming odds against dating a dancer it does happen. I can speak from personal experience, having dated a couple of girls who also danced. So here is my two step method on “How to get a stripper to date you”. Step one: hang out at the same club for six years. During that time never do anything that can be remotely creepy. If you do you’ll have to wait another six years. You could get a master’s degree in that time if you’re industrious, or at least a bachelor’s degree. And it would probably cost less too. During the six years you must tip well as not to look like too much of a tight wad.

If you make the six year probation period, you still can’t do anything. But by now you’ve probably established the reputation of being a normal person. Why six years? By this point most of the dancers you were a jerk too have moved on and the ones that are left you’ve probably tipped a couple of thousand dollars so they more inclined to look on you favorably. Now step two: all you have to wait to meet a dancer who has similar interests as you, you get along with, and also find’s you attractive. This will probably take another couple years. It would probably be much more effective to go some where else to look for a date. Seriously, it’s a strip club not a dating service.

For those of few of you who still read this blog, thanks for being patient. I’ve had a few medical issues recently. It sucks getting old. I’ve seemed to have resolved everything so I’ll return to my usual blogging routine. At least I’ll post more than once every six months.

Good Vibrations

If I had a bucket list I should be able to tick something off now. I helped a dancer friend pick out a new vibrator. I know it’s kind of boring but there are worse problems to have. It all started out with off hand comment Savannah made about needing a new vibrator. Her current one was a gift from a friend and beginning to die. Savannah (not her real name) was feeling a little uncomfortable about buying a vibrator by herself.

I have to admit it initially struck me a little odd that a stripper would be uncomfortable buying a sex toy. I guess that no matter how enlighten I think I am toward the strip club world I still harbor my hidden stereotypes. I think you need to put yourself in uncomfortable places from time to time to see different sides of yourself. Anyway I got over my surprised and we figured out a time to meet a local Fantasy Video store.

I arrived at Fantasy Video early for our appointment. I almost always arrive a little early for appointments, I hate being late. I pulled out my smart phone and started to play a game waiting for Savannah to arrive. Normally this isn’t a big deal, but I quick began to feel rather weird sitting in a sex shop parking lot watching people come and go. I felt like a spy watching people when they didn’t want to be watched. Fortunately Savannah showed up right on time. After a quick hello we went in.

We headed over to the vibrator isle. I really didn’t feel out of place in the store. I think my lack of awkwardness was a result of how comfortable I am with Savannah. I suspect with most other dancers I would have been turning various shades of red. Savannah is one of those rare people who’s so down to earth and fun to be around that even awkward things are entertaining.

We were speaking in hushed tones like we in a library. We were just looking at items in a store (that happen to vibrate) but somehow talking about vibrators seemed like something you keep to yourselves, which is kind of absurd when you are in an aisle surrounded by vibrators. I supposed blurting out “Look at the size of that one!” wouldn’t be appropriate.

Savannah wandered down the aisle looking at the surprisingly wide variety of items. I went into engineering mode and began to estimate how much it would cost to make a vibrator. Most of the wand shape ones probably cost less than $5 to make. I also noticed that a fair number of the models had the exact same shape and injection molding marks. They were probably made on the exact same production line with the same parts. Some were just in fancier looking packages with higher price

tags.

We rounded the corner I found the more upscale models. I’ve heard of rabbit vibrators, but I’ve never scene one. My first impression when I saw it was “why does it come with a bottle opener?” I know it’s not a bottle opener but that’s what went through my mind. I think this is a result of being a teen in the 1970s. The twist off cap hadn’t made it to beer bottles yet. If you were going to go out drinking on a regular basis, you better be pretty adept at opening beer bottles with common items not normally used for bottle openers. Most car seat belts work perfect for opening bottles of beer. I still keep a church key in my car.

Savannah narrowed her choices down to two models of the bottle opening rabbit vibrators. She handed one to me and asked what do I think? The honest answer would have been “I have no idea”, but since I’m an engineer I always assume my opinion is important regardless of my actual knowledge so I invented something on the spot. The plastic was actually clear and you could see part the vibrators internal workings. This particular model had the additional functionality of a massage mechanism. It had two concentric plates that spun around a shaft. They looked exactly like cutting wheels on a ditch digging machine. Considering the intended use of the device, anything that looked like it could cause damage would be bad. “I think the other one is better”, it had a series of roller bearings that look like something from a massage chair. After a few minutes of consideration Savannah decided she’d ask the folks behind the front desk for their opinion.

On the way to the desk Savannah stopped by to look at some panties. I stood by quietly while she browsed. I almost started browsing as well, but considering my tendency to feel the texture of clothes first I probably would have looked a little creepy. Wandering around fondling underwear probably would have not turned out well. I decided to just keep my hands in my pockets.

I was surprised at the counter the clerks offered to put batteries in the vibrators so Savannah could see how they worked. In a matter of seconds both devices were primed and loaded. I was handed one of them. I’ve scene TV remote controls with less buttons. In cartoons there is always the one character that has to push the button, even if he doesn’t know what it does. That’s me.

I had to push the button. The biggest button in this case, since there was a variety to chose from. Amazingly the vibrator started to vibrate (imagine that) with a low hum. I pushed the button again assuming it would switch off. Instead the vibrator shifted up a gear in intensity. I quickly punched the button. The vibrator went into overdrive. The hum had turned into a low growl. I felt a mild panic rise in my stomach. I hit another button. Instead of shutting down the bottle opener attachment started to buzz. The growl picked up a new tone and turn into a yowl. I’ve always considered myself technically savvy, but I was at a loss here. I felt my ears start to turn red. I should have just asked for help. Instead I just started mashing buttons down until the damn thing eventually went silent. I’m not sure what I hit but I didn’t care at the moment.

I traded with Savannah, this time carefully handling the device to prevent any further damage to my ego. Savannah eventually selected one and the purchased was made. We said good bye and Savannah headed home. I got home and decided to look up how a rabbit vibrator is used online. I had a pretty good idea, but just wanted to confirm my suspicions. I was amazed to find some instructional web sites that look like public service announcements that would help you have “years of enjoyment with your new purchase”. Some people take their sex toys very seriously. I wasn’t able to locate an instruction manual. I’ll keep looking, next time I’m going to be better prepared. I’m not going to be outwitted by a vibrator next time.

Can you find the strip club?

I was reading through the SOS website about how strip clubs attract crime to neighborhoods. According to SOS they don't pay taxes either. Just out of curiosity I did a little research on line to see if I can this trend. A Stars Cabaret strip club open not too far from me. So I check the local crime statistics to see what kind of impact it has. After examining a few of maps I decided to make a test. After examining the maps for yourself, can you find where the strip club is? Note, these maps show all the crimes committed between March 2010 and February 2011. If strip clubs are ground zero for crime, it seems logical that crime should be the highest at or near where the club is.

First map is simple assault, because people always get in fights in strip club parking lots:

This one is sex crimes. Only crazed perverts frequent strip clubs

Strip clubs are fronts for prostitution! I know this because I read it on the SOS website.

This is for drugs. All strippers are drug addicts or going to become drug addicts.

DUIIs because everybody is always hammered at strip clubs

Disorderly conduct, just to cover other things like pissing in the parking lot and flashing cars as they drive by.

Can you guess where the club is?

I can't really draw many conclusions with these maps. The club doesn't seem to really be central to anything. I can't see any real impact. Perhaps I need to accumulate more data. But how could you separate crime from the club and crime from the mall across the street? I'll see if I can get data from before Star's Bridgeport opened and after it opened.

The problem I have with the SOS website is they throw up a bunch of unsubstantiated claims then run with them as if they are scientific facts. Their first claim is the clubs "avoid paying taxes". Do strip club owners cook the books? Undoubtedly, but do strip club owners do it any more than other businesses? I don't know myself. But without any quality studies I can't make or refute the statement. To make a naked assertion without facts is completely unethical.

They treat workers as independent contractors to avoid employment taxes and fair employment laws. There is some truth to this. It seems to me it be better to actually deal with unfair practices rather then just jettison the whole thing. I'm wonder if they are so concerned about the working conditions of the people who make their clothes or electronics.

Strip clubs also do nothing to maintain their buildings or grounds ignoring county and city codes. Exactly where do they get the data for this? I did a survey of clubs for health department inspections. The clubs were all over the map but they all passed. This accusation is just made up. If they are going to try and change the laws they should base their arguments on real data. These are laws that affect peoples lives. They shouldn't be based on made up data.

Notable Noticeable's

The amount of money dancers pay for clothes and makeup is kind of staggering. It never ceases to amaze me. I joked in a previous blog post about the similarities between fishing and dancing. I know a dancer that had a tool box for all her MAC makeup and other goodies but how much do these things really payoff? What do us customers really notice?

I can only comment from my position as a regular and these are just my observations: recently I was sitting with a dancer who was complaining that she hadn’t been tanning recently and felt she looked pale. I did a quick comparison with myself and her. I always use myself as the official standard of pale. I’m about as pale as you can get and still have pigmentation. Imagine the Pillsbury dough man with glasses. I simply just don’t tan. I just go from white to red and back to white. If I do start to get a tan something has gone horribly wrong. I always put on sun block when I go out into the sun. Not just any sun block, but 90+ stuff. I want the lights to dim when I walk into a room. I know over a certain sun block number I’m just wasting my money, but I don’t care.

Getting back to the dancer I really couldn’t tell if she was really pale or not. We were currently being bathed in red and blue LED light. She actually had a rather nice complexion for a smurf. The red and blue light resulted in a really lovely shade of purple. You can't really judge skin tone in most strip clubs. Between the lack of lights (it’s dark in most strip clubs) and what lights they do have are all either colored or flashing. Most of the time you can’t really tell how pale a dancer is.

Some dancers will intentionally create tan lines for the copper tone girl look. I spent one evening at the club trying to estimate what skin tone dancers actually had. The only generalizations I could make are dark hair girls tended to look paler than blondes. The outfit also make a difference, dark clothes made the dancer look paler. Light clothes made her look tan. The real conclusion is that if you don't have any sort of benchmark to compare against it’s really difficult to tell how tan a dancer actually is. It’s easier for dancers to judge each other because they see each other in the dressing room. That gives them a reference point.

This leads to another question, if the typical customer can't tell how tan the dancer is why should she be spending money on the tanning? If it makes her feel more confident about her looks then she should. Attitude is huge when it comes to a dancer’s money. Lots of drop dead gorgeous girls make terrible money because they just sit at the bar, drink and don't approach customers. If tanning makes her feel more attractive and more positive than it’s definitely worth the money.

In my opinion clothing makes a big difference. This may sound kind of odd coming from a guy paying to see clothes being removed. My first impression of a dancer is when she is wearing clothes. I'll probably decide in the first 30 seconds if I'm going to spend more money on her. I've always found it odd that some dancers treat clothes like fishing lures. If customers aren't biting with one outfit she'll "upgrade the slutwear" and change to something else. While I initially didn't give this much credence, there may be something too this. Different days and times draw different crowds. What a group of twenty something hipsters might find attractive late Friday night is probably different than a group of forty something mid life crisis guys would find attractive early Saturday evening.

Another important factor about clothes is most customers’ first impression is at a distance. Most customers’ first look at a dancer usually comes at a distance, usually from across the room. Dancers have the really difficult problem of being scrutinized from both really close up and from over 30' away. Clothing can greatly enhance that first impression.

I've notice that tattoos don't always work so well with clothes. I admit that being older that my biases toward tattoo's are different the people younger than me. While I tend to be ambivalent towards tattoos after I've gotten to know the person, my initial impression is always a little negative toward them. Growing up tattoos we're pretty rare. If somebody had a tattoo they we're probably either a Hell's Angel or career Navy person. My expectation is not to see a tattoo on a person so I'm always a little shocked when I do. One criticism I have of tattoos on dancers it they don't look good when viewed from a distance. I have to admit I’ve looked at a few girls thought to my self “I hope that’s a tattoo”. Most tattoos are very detailed works of art. How they look up close is very different from across the room. At a distance they tend to look like bruises or other skin maladies. I suspect for younger people who are used to seeing tattoos this isn't the case, they don't have the same expectations that I do.

Again, these are all my observations. What’s important to me won’t be important to another customer. I don’t think there is the “right” look for a dancer. The important thing is that she thinks she looks good.

T&A Tsunami Relief

Just on a personal note, I work for a Japanese hi-tech company. I spent the day after the earthquake setting up international calls for peoples families. We have a lot of Japanese ex-patriots here who have family in the Miyagi prefecture. You don't need to speak the language to hear the pain and fear. I'll be there.