Living in Oregon you learn a lot of different terms for
rain. It only rains once a year in Oregon, it just starts in September and ends
in June. Since its always raining you need to ways to identify how much rain.
It’s pretty much an art form all residents need to master in this state. Using
my learned skills in advanced rain identification I decided to apply it to the
strip club variety of rain.
Different types of strip club rain:
- Rain - $75 or more distributed on to the stage in a steady stream of dollars
- Showers - $50 or more distributed on to the stage in a steady stream of dollars
- Scattered showers – Less than $50 thrown with breaks when the customer looks around to confirm how cool he is.
- Isolated showers – Customer walks up with a stack of ones, throws $25 and stops. Spends the remainder of the song at the edge of the stage pretending he is strip club god. He fails.
- Scattered showers – Customer takes $25 and spits it up between two or more stages
- Drizzle - $5, customer acts like he just launched $500. Fail
- Sprinkle – less than $5
- Cloudburst - $100 or more, probably mechanically aided with a credit card. Will cause extensive damage to relationships when the credit card bill arrives.
- Deluge - $150 or more. Increasing rare event do to global warming and a crap economy.
- Hail – dollars bills wadded up and thrown on the stage. Not cool.
