A regular guy

I spend a lot of time following dancer blogs and twitter feeds. I’m always curious about what dancers think of their customers (me). After reading a post about making a regular when I began wondering what attracts me to certain dancers and becoming their regular customer. So here are the things that will hook me or send me running for the exit.

80% of success is just showing up

Probably the biggest thing for me is just simply being at the club when I am. I lived by a regular schedule. Because of work and other commitments I have to at certain places at certain times. You give me a time and day and I can tell you where I will probably be. Consequently I pretty much show up at the club at the same time on the same days. Unfortunately keeping a regular schedule is anathema to a lot of dancers. One of the major perks of a dancer’s job is the supremely flexible schedule. I understand this, so it goes a long way with me when a dancer can be there when I am.

There is also a more pragmatic reason for being there when I’m there. If I don’t spend money on you, I’ll spend it on somebody else. I’m there to relax and have fun and you have a lot more fun at a strip club if you spend money. I’m only going to work so hard to pay somebody my money.

A graceful exit

Most dancers I know are always happy to see you and greet you with a big hug. They’re interested in everything you say. Dancers always tell you they love to do dances. Then they bolt like they are on fire the instant they get their money. Nothing says “thank god that’s over” like taking the money and running. I appreciate that they are there to make money, not make friends, but minimize the mercenary mentality. Just follow through with the illusion that you like me a little further. Hanging out for an extra a few minutes and wishing me good night will go a lot further than just then a dance and dash.

Sometimes life sucks, get over it

Everybody has bad days and it’s nice to be able to complain about it. I swear some dancers are permanently pissed off. The club sucks, the management sucks, the other dancers suck, life sucks. The girl is a black hole for happy. A positive upbeat person is always so much better to be around. If I want to be depressed I can watch the 5 o’clock news. It’s a lot cheaper.

You’re not that awesome and I’m not that stupid

There is a difference between being a prospect and a customer. A prospect hasn’t completely decided on buying, they’re still may change their mind. A customer has already made the decision to buy, so you don’t have to do as much. Sadly a lot of dancers take this approach. When you first meet them they are happy, polite, and prompt. After a few weeks they are apathetic, surly, and going to do things at their own god damn pace. I’m still paying for the privilege of your presence. Just because I’ve committed to spend money on you doesn’t mean you can quit working.

Don’t disappear into the dressing room for twenty minutes and tell me you just changed your outfit. You’re a stripper, getting in and out of clothes in a blink of an eye is part of the job. You went in back, smoked a cigarette, made a phone call, talked to the girl next to you about eye-liner, and checked your text messages. Then come you out and ask me “was I gone long?”. Stupid with big boobs is still stupid. Check your Mickey Mouse watch, if Mickey’s hands have gone from scratching his head to scratching is balls you’ve been gone to long, and if he’s scratching his ass I’ve probably left the building. If you’ve ever gone to buy shoes and had the jerk sales person disappear into the back room for seemly an hour you know exactly how I feel about you. The only difference is that in a strip club there are a dozen other girls waiting to replace you. In case you haven’t noticed this is a major peeve of mine.

Regulars are more work and potentially more problems. But it’s also as close as a dancer is going to get to guaranteed money, and if you get a good regular it’s easy money. I'm not asking that much. 

The Friendster

I often find myself in position of being a “friendster” to most of the dancers I know. I’m both a friend and a customer at the same time. While this is generally a good thing to me, it does have some odd things about it. For technically curious friendster.com was actually one of the first semi-successful social networking sites, proceeding both myspace and Facebook. It also failed fairly quickly and is currently a kind of weird gaming network site out of Kuala Lumpur.

The best thing about a being a friendster is the fact the dancer trusts you. You don’t have to worry about the dancer ordering dinner and $20 drink every time the waitress walks up. For the most part it’s much less stressful for the dancer. She doesn’t have to worry about being on guard as much. I don’t think any dancer completely relaxes at work. I never completely relax at my job. I definitely have the most fun with dancers I’ve built up credibility with.

There are some down sides to this situation. There are times when I turn down an invitation from a dancer, I feel like I’m blowing off a friend. To some degree I am, but I’m also turning down a business transaction. Some dancers will take advantage of this and play on my emotions. They are having a bad day/week/month and they really need me to come in to make things go better. I used to bite on this and turn into the strip club Sit Galahad and head off to save a dancer from a bad night. I don’t do this any more. I’m paying for the privilege of her company. It can get really expensive and irritating quickly.

Like most long term business relationships, it’s a mixture of both friendship and money. My job is like this as well. I have customers I like and enjoy dealing with regardless of the professional issues. There are also customers I find utterly revolting or inane but I have to paint on smile and pretend to enjoy their conversation when I’d rather drive a spike into skull.

I know it’s in the dancer’s best interest to pretend she likes me. I wonder if she is secretly rolling her eyes at my jokes, or mentally plotting different ways kill me as a way to get through the conversation. Most dancers are much better at feigning interest than I am at figuring it out so I’ll just stay fat, dumb, and happy.

As enlighten as I’d like to think I am being friends with dancers outside the club is still a little awkward at times. One time I fixed a computer monitor for a dancer’s parents. I figured I was just going to drop it off at her place on my way home from work. Instead I ended driving over to her parent’s house and hooked up the monitor for them. It was really odd meeting her parents. Her parents knew she stripped. While they weren’t thrilled with her job they were supportive of her. They also knew I was one her customers from the club.

If they were uncomfortable with me they never showed it. I could never shake the fact that I used to pay their daughter to take her clothes off. The entire time there they warm and gracious to me the entire time I was there. They just treated me like I was one of the family. Some strippers come from screwed up families, but not all of them. I don’t think I’ve met nicer down to earth people than her parents

Most of my friendships with dancers outside the club never last. I suppose this isn’t any different than job. There have been people I’ve worked with over the years that I’ve become good friends with, yet over time we lose track of each other. When you work with somebody the job becomes a common point of interest. When they go somewhere else you lose that. Not immediately at first, but after a while things change some much that they no longer interested.

With the dancer the common point of interest is the club. When she quits working at the club you lose the point of interest. The social awkwardness of strip clubs makes things that much more difficult. A lot of dancers want to break completely from the stripper world. They don’t want to explain they know me from when they worked as a stripper. There is a social bias against the strip club world. Life is hard enough without having to contend with that as well. 

Hitting the Gym

The next time I’m heading to a strip club I’m going to tell them that I’m “Going to the gym”. From a purely pedantic point of view it’s an accurate statement. The etymological source of the word gym is the Greek word “gymnos” (γυμνός). Gymnos means naked in ancient Greek. The Greek term “gymnazo “ (γυμνάζω) which means “to train naked” is derived from gymnos. The Greeks felt that athletics are best done naked. Gymnazo eventually got Latinized into gymnasium by the Romans.

Gymnasium made it into the English language eventually, though the naked part got dropped and gymnasium just meant a place far athletic training. Still the only place I know of where people train naked (or train to be naked) is a strip club. Maybe somebody should name a club the Gymnazo. It can’t be any worse than Pitiful Princess. So, see you at the gym.

Expose yourself

I had forgotten about this advertising campaign. That's former Portland mayor Bud Clark promoting the local art scene. No wonder there are so many strip clubs here.

The Prize Patrol

And here is Naomi with her winnings from the stripper skills contest.

Her keys to success

• Using a computer monitor instead of a smart phone
• Comparing the stack on the screen to her tips at the end of a shift
• Sobering up before guessing.

Stay tuned for more contests

And the winner is..

The winner is Naomi from Stars Bridgeport!

So can dancers judge the value of stack of ones just by looking at it? Sort of. Granted this test didn’t result in a very big data sample. I think the only thing I conclusively proved is that ignoring a blog for a couple months will drop your traffic to zero. I only got three guesses on the blog. It’s a bit of an ego hit when giving away money doesn’t really bump site traffic. At least at the club I was able to get quite a few dancers to give me a verbal estimate.

I intentionally tried to make things difficult. There were no objects to reference the height of the stack to (except the bills them selves) and I did not compress the bills. I don’t think most dancers keep there bills like this. They probably have them bundled up and stashed. However, and expert is an expert and they should be able to handle the tough situations with the easy one.

Every initial estimate I got was much higher than the actual value. The average value of the guesses was $202 dollars. The actual value of the stack was $124. The dancers missed the value by an average of $78. The highest guess was $290, the lowest was $161. I don’t think dancers are overly optimistic, I think it was a case of the bills being stacked in an atypical fashion.

Another interesting thing I noticed is that 72% of the dancers said they needed to actually hold the stack to really be accurate. This may be my next test, I’ll bundle a setup of bills to see if how much more accurate the guesses become.

Something interesting I noticed is that when dancers didn’t just guess, but began to evaluate different aspects of the stack they became much more accurate. Typically they started high, but when they began to puzzle it out the estimate would drop. Only two dancers made an attempt to determine the actual height of the stack by comparing it the length of the bill.

The winning guess was very accurate though, within 5%, I’m curious to she how came up with this number. I suspect it wasn’t a quick guess.

So can most dancers just look at a stack of singles and determine the value? Not really. With a little more information they probably can be very accurate. My next test will be a bundle they’ll be able to handle. I’ll also get estimates from non-dancers as well, to see if dancers are more accurate.

Some things never change

There are eternal battles; Cats vs. Dogs, Ninjas vs. Pirates, Coke vs. Pepsi, and Strippers vs. Managers. I had a chance to ease drop on an all dancer meeting at a local club. I wasn't invited of course, but the meeting went much longer planned. The meeting that was supposed to start promptly at 2pm, started more toward 3ish, and was still going long after club's opening time.

When I walked in Sunday all the lights were on and the dancers were gathered around a stage, being lectured to by a manager. It’s always really odd to see the club under normal lighting. The perception of size is completely changed. The normally dark interior walls appear much closer in the light making it almost claustrophobic. The dancers all look really different too, specifically they look much shorter. Normally you only see dancers when they are in six inch or higher heels. Suddenly they’ve all shrunk, like walking into a stripper hobbit hole.

Once I figured out what was going on, I scuttled off to the video poker machines to occupy myself and listen in to the meeting. It reminded me of some of the horrible meetings I’ve been stuck in, where some manager feels the need to lecture you on a bunch of issues you know better than he does. The manager was going on an on about dancer breaking rules to the dancers that don’t beak the rules because the dancers that break the rules tend not to show up on Sundays for meeting about not breaking the rules.

The rules in question were the rules that managers always seems to go on about. The dancers looked simultaneously tired, bored, and annoyed. After listening to the manager for a little bit I was bored, tired and annoyed too. After thinking about the meeting for a couple days I decided I would weigh in on these eternal conflicts, to give an outside point of view.

Bitch #1 Make it to stage on time

When a dancer hears her should drop everything and race for the stage like she’s being paged by St Peter at the pearly gates, at least that’s manager seem to suggest. For the most part, I’ve got agree with the manager on this one. As a customer it sucks sitting staring at an empty stage. It’s surprising how fast it become uncomfortable. I start to think about getting up and going to the bathroom, or getting a new drink, or heading home to catch the Big Bang Theory reruns. If the club is reasonably crowded it’s to the dancer advantage to make it to the stage on time. The rack is going to empty out pretty quickly if people are left waiting too long, Every customer that leaves is money walking away from the stage.

However when the club is empty the manager needs lighten up. If all the customers are sitting at the bar or hiding out at tables it really doesn’t matter if the dancer zooms up to the stage. There’s no point to breaking an ankle for four bucks and frankly, the customers have already left the stage before the last song ended. Yet the manager seem’s to ignore this fact. You should train dogs if you want absolute obedience. 

Bitch #2 Show up with your hair and make up done

Honestly, this should be rephrased be ready to start when your shift begins. I can understand this one. I’ve personally ranted about dancer’s cliché lack of promptness on multiple posts. A lot of dancers roll in a couple minutes before their shift starts, report in, then spend the next two hours getting ready. Whether they arrive two hours early and get ready or get ready at home really doesn’t make a difference. You’re either ready or your not. I’ve noticed that a speed at which a dancer gets ready is directly proportional to the amount of money being tipped on stage. People are much more prompted when there’s money to be made at the time. However it isn’t fair to the dancers that did get ready on time for the others to shift on time when it’s slow.

Bitch #3 Let the DJ know when you’re doing dances

This one seems straight forward but tends to be much more difficult in practice. The strip club is probably the worse place for communication short of combat. You have loud music, lights, and alcohol. I’ve watched DJs and dancers talk to each other and carry on completely different conversations. Then walk off not realizing that other had no clue what the other person said. “I’m going to being doing three songs in the VIP” from the dancers turns into “I’m going to be free after this song” for the DJ, which turns into argument when the DJ calls her to stage in the middle of her dances.

Sometimes the situation prevents the dancer from being able to communicate with the DJ. We customers can be a pretty flakey bunch. Once a dancer finally gets a customer to agree to do dances she needs to get him back to the champagne room before he can change his mind. Trying to track down the DJ or get his attention can be impossible. This is one situation where the manager needs to be able to figure what’s going on when conflict occurs..Just blaming the dancers isn't right thing to do.

Bitch #4 Always order the expensive drinks

This is one rule that does more harm than good. Sure, short term it might boost bar sales but it pisses of the customers. In my opinion its too the dancers advantage to order cheap drinks. Every dollar the bar takes is one less dollar she can get. Dances cost $20 bucks. If cost of the drinks is $21 for top shelf, instead of $17 the extra four bucks just cost the dancer $20 bucks. Once I break a twenty that's one less dance I can buy. It also makes guys more difficult to dance for. If the dancers isn't going to respect me, why should I respect her? 

Bitch #5 We’re not the dirtiest club in town, so clean up the dances.

This rule usually lasts for a couple weeks before things go back to where they were. I’m glad I didn’t hear this rant or I probably would have been kicked out of the club. The manager used such a flawed argument to make his point I probably wouldn’t have been keep my mouth shut. The manager claimed that when he started in the industry fifteen years ago girls were making $700 or more a night doing air dances and none of this extra stuff was needed. He also claimed that back then girls were lining up to work at this club and they should feel lucky to be here.

Apparently the manager lives in a time warp and has missed the fact the world has changed in the past fifteen years. Fifteen years ago the economy was starting the dot com boom. The clubs were much more crowded fifteen years ago. People had a lot more money to spend. Back then I used to take off from clubs at 8pm because they got so crowded there was no place to sit. Now I could probably park my car next to the stage at 8pm and there still would be room for everybody. Apparently the manager hasn’t noticed that things have slowed down a little since then. 

He also neglects to mention that all the clubs were doing air dances in Portland at the time. This led to my own misadventure the first time a dancer sat down in my lap in Texas. Now if a club tried to enforce that everybody will just head down the road to next club. All the dancers I know don’t want to get groped of $20 by some random guys off the street. But that’s the current environment right now and a lot of dancers are going to do what they need to pay their bills.

He also mentions that there were dancers waiting to work for the club. This implies that they were limiting the number of dancers that could work there. This is a noticeable change from the current policy of letting any dancer with a pulse and stage fees show up and work, regardless of how many girls are already there. You get 30 dancers chasing 10 customers and the rules are going to become optional pretty fast.

Arguments like this just make everything worse. Dancers will just look at the manager like he’s an idiot and ignore him. You have no credibility when ignore reality. I don’t mind working for jerks if they are will to deal with the facts. Somebody who makes up an imaginary world to work in is impossible to deal with. I'm sure this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to strip club management lunacy. 

Test your stripper skills and win (kinda) big money

Every dancer friend I have claim they can look at a stack of singles and tell exactly how much it is. I decided to put it to the test and came up with a contest. Who ever guesses the value of this stack of ones (or comes closest) wins the money! The stack of singles below could be yours. Of course there will be a few rules for this contest. Please read closely.

1. The contest is only open to active dancers in the Portland Oregon area. (This includes Salem). I will show up and make it rain or, more likely, neatly place it on the rack so its easier for you to pick up.
2. You must work either weekends or weekday evening shifts. I have a 9 to 5, Monday through Friday job. My bosses tend to frown on me heading to strip clubs during work hours.
3. You can only make one guess. You make the guess by leaving a comment on this post. You must also leave your stage name, what club you work at, and the dollar value of your guess.
4. If two or more guesses are the same, the earliest guess posted on the blog will win. The time and date blogspot tags the comment will be the official entry time
5. The guess closest to the value of stack (either above or below the amount) wins.
6. If two guesses have the same differential, the guess that did not exceed the actual value of the stack will win. Example, if the value of the stack is $20 and there was an $18 and $22 guesses (both $2 off) the $18 dollar guess wins since it did not exceed the value of the stack.
7. The contest will end 6am October 12th. 

The stack is all non-sequential one dollar bills. Any questions e-mail me at pdxstoney@gmail.com. Good luck!

Does she or doesn't she, only the CDC knows for sure

Ethic’s isn’t usually a subject you associate with strip club. Yet, I found myself in an ethical dilemma a while ago. I’m going to be really vague about a lot of specific details about this situation. I cannot verify a lot of the major details, to avoid damaging somebody’s reputation through innuendo I’m going be vague, but I can get my point across without them. You generally don't think about health issues when you go to a strip club, but sometimes you have to.

There are some diseases that aren’t curable but not fatal either. Once you have it, you have it until you die. Most of the time the virus lays dormant, but occasionally flairs up and causes problem. There diseases usually require some sort of intimate contact or the exchange of bodily fluids to contract. Not really an issue for a customer at a strip club.

Sometime ago a dancer (Stripper X) at my favorite club had supposedly contracted one of these diseases. I didn’t find out about this until after she had left. I’m not sure if she was fired, quit or just decided to not show up any more. Dancers come and go at a club on a regular basis. I never really talked to her, but I heard later about Stripper X’s condition from a couple of different dancers I trust. Granted a lot of dancers are major league gossips, but I trusted these dancers to be pretty down to earth and factual about their stuff. However, I had no real confirmation, just trusted sources. Stripper X also lead a life style that was at risk for this type of disease.

Stripper X disappeared and I quickly forgot about her. It was a couple years later when I stopped by a different club to see a long time favorite dancer when I saw Stripper X working there. She was still using the same stage name, she even recognized me.

When my dancer friend sat down next to me Stripper X was the topic of conversation. After a few minutes of catching up I realized my friend know nothing of Stripper X's health risk. This left me with a little bit of a quandary. Do I tell my friend? The easy thing to do would be gossip, “Did you hear that Stripper X had gotten suspended for having...”. The problem with this is that I’m leveling a serious accusation without any real proof.

There are consequences to my actions. Customers talk crap all the time about dancers, but there is more to this allegation than the usual “I think she does more outside the club" type of comments. There are legal implications to this situation for the club. If a club knows that a contractor presents a potential health risk to customers, the club could be sued. One of the riders on the contracts I have to sign with trade show companies is an acknowledgement of health. Basically I have to state that nobody working our booth knowingly has a communicable disease. I’m not sure how much legal protection this really provides, but if somebody works a trade show with the bubonic plague and makes somebody really sick, the trade show company will basically say the company renting the booth space lied and they are liable.

The parallels between a renting space at a trade show and a dancer contracting are striking. I’ll blog about that later. Besides the potential legal aspects I don’t think a club would want to be known as the place a customer caught a serious disease from. This would be bad for business. The upshot of all this is that there is a fairly decent chance a new dancer could get fired over a rumor this. Getting somebody fired because you think that something might be true is completely unethical to me. A lot of dancers tend to live week to week financially. Getting fired at the end of the month could result in them losing their place to live. Oops I’m sorry about getting you fired and evicted, doesn’t really cut it if it’s a false claim.

Another really nasty thing about an allegation like that is it’s almost impossible to prove a negative. Even if you don’t have the disease, people may think it’s just in remission and you’re lying about it. The strip club industry isn’t that big. Even if you walk around with a copy of the results of your latest blood work, people can still think the document is fake or,” that was last week, what about now?” You can’t put the genie back in the bottle.

I was not going to mention the health issue to my friend initially. The only way to spread this disease is by sharing bodily fluids and wouldn’t be spread at a club under even normal conditions. Then my dancer friend, who is into alternate life styles. mentions that she is hanging out with Stripper X outside the club. This presented a direct risk to my friend’s health. Sorry, I should have told you about the land mines are not acceptable. I told her about Stripper X.

There is a broader issue of health when it comes to strip clubs. at what point are you too sick to go into a strip club? It’s an ideal environment for spreading illness. Even if you don’t get any dances, the dancer will usually sit right next to you, most of the time you are drinking something too. You have the trifecta of possible vectors: physical contact, airborne transmission, and ingestion.

Dancers are more at risk than the customers. I’ll probably only meet and talk to one or two dancers during a visit. The dancer we’ll probably meet a dozen or more people every shift. One thing I always hated about working big trade shows like CES or Comdex (when Comdex was big) was you were guaranteed to meet and shake hands at least one sick person. I’d say 30% of the time I worked large trade shows I came home sick.

The dancer also has the added problem of not being able to take sick time off. If she has to make rent she doesn’t have to a choice. She has to load up on decongestants and cold medicines and fake a smile. That is one of the most miserable part of sales Feeling like absolute shit, yet having to paint on smile and pretend you like dealing with a customer. That is longest conversation ever. 

How safe are clubs?

KPTV - FOX 12

I got asked about the recent shooting at the Mystic Strip club in the comment section of a previous post.  After doing a little research it appears that neither the victim nor suspects were customers. The club is just where the tragic incident occurred. There is nothing strip club specific about the incident. But it does raise the question, how safe do I feel at a strip club?

When I first start hanging out the club I was apprehensive. I had the same faulty thing most people have of strip clubs. That stripping is immoral, therefore immoral people (criminals) hand out there. Now I’m not even sure what I was thinking. This is definitely a case of my preconceptions being completely wrong.

The media will always trumpet report anything that happens at a strip club. They will always be sure to put “strip club” or “stripper” in the headline. Not because it’s particularly relevant, but it gets people attention and it will get better ratings. I’ve noticed that most news media now is more interested in ratings than reporting the facts. When you have a problem at strip club you automatically have sex indirectly involved. Sex sells news reports.

Get rid of the live entertainment and a strip club is just a bar. The safety of the club comes down to how its run and its location, just like any other bar. If a club takes security seriously will be very safe. If they have enough bouncers that are actively watching the crowd, you usually won’t run into problems. Bouncers are an active deterrent. Strip clubs tend to have more bouncers on staff than a typical bar.

I’ve noticed that strip club bouncers also tend to be more aggressive than typical bouncers. They have the added concerns of money and naked women. Dancers have to collect money from customers. I don’t care what business you are in, collecting money from customers can always be problematic. This usually doesn’t affect the honest customers as much since they are neither naked nor trying to collect money.

The serving practice’s of the bar also makes a big difference. The only time I’ve had real issues at a club has been with absolutely wasted people. Really hammered people do stupid things. A club that is willing to cut people off early won’t have as many problems as a place that lets patron get smashed. The fact that there are strippers doesn’t make a difference. It’s just simply they way the club is operated.

In my opinion the biggest factor in safety is what neighborhood the club is in. There are good neighborhoods and bad neighborhoods. You are far more likely to be victim of a crime in a neighborhood with a high crime rate. I’m more concerned with safety in the parking lot of the club in a bad neighborhood than when I am in the club itself. Again then it comes down to how the club is operated.

Strip clubs tend to be a bit more concerned about what goes on in the parking lot than typical bars. Dancers are escorted out to their cars at the end of their shift. A lot of dancers also smoke, which usually means there is somebody outside watching the parking lot grabbing a quick smoke between sets. The dancers have a vested interest in making sure the customers are safe. When you add the number of dancers in with normal bar staff there are simply more eyes watching what is going on.

In the 10+ years of hanging out at strip clubs I’ve only been two incidents that involved a bouncer having to intervene. One was a result of my own stupidity; the other was an encounter with drunk. Some guy who should have been cut off much earlier in the evening decided that I had taken the table he was sitting at. I staggered up to my table and began bitching at me about taking his table. Before he finished his drunken rant the bouncers had walked over and escorted him away.  

I’ve only seen one actual study that compared crime at strip clubs to other bars. Of course I can’t find it now that I’m writing about it. But it compared reported incidents at a strip club with another bar of similar size in the same neighborhood. The strip club came in with a lower incident rate. The police spent more time at the other club than the strip club. I don’t think the lower rate was because strip clubs have fewer problems, I think it was mostly because the strip club had bouncers on staff every evening, while the other club only had bouncers on the weekends. Problems that required the police to be involved at the regular club were taken care of by the bouncers at the strip club.  I think the ultimately result of the study was there really isn’t any difference between the two establishments.

The biggest problem with strip club safety is public perception. People have preconceived notions of strip clubs being dens of iniquity. The people who work and hang out at strip clubs must be morally corrupt. The reality is that the people who hang out at the clubs are your neighbors. The people working there are just trying to make a living and have a vested interest in keeping you safe. If you don’t feel safe at a club, you are probably not going to come back. That’s a quick way to go out of business.

Strip Club food Safety, revisited

I decided to revisit the strip club restaurant inspections reports. In general they improved. None of the clubs were under 80. This is an improvement over last time when two clubs in in the seventies. There were two noticeable exceptions. Casa Diablo (The Vegan Strip club) went from a perfect 100 to 86. Apparently they had no hot water when the inspector arrived. They got the hot water fixed, but that's always a little scary to hear.

Violation 3G, Critical Violation of OAR 3-501.16 Potentially hazardous food is not maintained at proper hot or cold holding temperatures, specifically:	Main prep cooler is holding at 60F. It was found out that the breaker had been tripped a few hours ago and had been turned back on and was cooling back down to 41F. Foods inside were not out of temperature for longer than four hours. The machine will be checked again to make sure it is holding below 41F.
THE ABOVE VIOLATIONS ARE CRITICAL ITEMS. These items were corrected at today's inspection. Please monitor to ensure that these violations do not recur.

The other exception got my attention since it was the club I hang out at. They nearly got shut down. When the inspector arrived on 5/17/2012 one of the prep cooler's had tripped the breaker and the food had gotten warm. 

iolation 3G, Critical Violation of OAR 3-501.16Potentially hazardous food is not maintained at proper hot or cold holding temperatures, specifically:	Prep cooler is holding foods at 43F-48F. All potentially hazardous foods were discarded after discussion. At the last inspection it was found that the breaker to the machine had been tripped. Today, this was not the case and the machine has been on all day. Have the machine serviced professionally, clean the condenser coil and make sure hot foods are not placed inside. A recheck will occur to check compliance. If this machine is not working properly and there is potentially hazardous foods inside at the next inspection you facility will be closed by this department.
Violation 990, Critical Violation of OAR 333-157-0030 (3)THE ABOVE VIOLATIONS ARE CRITICAL ITEMS. They must be corrected IMMEDIATELY or have an approved alternative procedure in place which must be corrected within 14 days, or the designated time period. Failure to correct these critical violations within the designated period may result in restaurant closure in compliance with Oregon Administrative Rule 333-157-0030. A reinspection to determine compliance will be made within 14 days.

The inspector came back week later and it appears that the cooler was working correctly but they had not gotten the unit serviced. Apparently the inspector wasn't to happy with the laissez faire approach to maintenance. The owner decided to throw out the old machine and buy a new one. 

Rule Violations and Requirements	Comments
Violation 3G, Critical Violation of OAR 3-501.16 Potentially hazardous food is not maintained at proper hot or cold holding temperatures, specifically:	Main prep unit observed holding foods between 42F and 47F. This included steaks, hamburger, and dairy products. The operator discarded the entire prep unit at inspection and will work from other refrigeration until another unit can be purchased.
Violation 99J, Not Critical Violation of OAR 333-157-030(8); RESTAURANT CLOSURE/UNCORRECTED CRITICALS All critical items have not been corrected. This facility is closed. This facility may reopen after 24 hours if: A) A recheck inspection by the Assistant Director confirms that all critical violations have been corrected; B) A closure dismissal order issued by the Division is delivered to the operator or person in charge; and C) The closed sign previously posted is removed by the Assistant Director. A restaurant may be reopened earlier than 24 hours following a voluntary meeting attended by the restaurant operator or person in charge, the Assistant Director, and the inspecting sanitarian, at which the provisions of subsections (A) through (C) of this section are demonstrated to be met.
An establishment that requires more than two reinspections per licensing year will be subject to an inspection fee for each additional inspection.

Sometimes I really wonder why owners decide to skimp on spending. Had the breaker tripper again the would have gotten shut down. There's probably more to the story, but this doesn't look to good. I rarely eat at strip clubs. I always assume the cook uses the same bathroom I use. That usually kills my appetite.

The number in parentheses is the change from the last inspection

Acropolis	90 (+15)
Blush	92 (-4)
Boom Boom Room	96 (+10)
Bottom's Up	90 (-6)
Cabaret II	92
Casa Diablo	86 (-14)
Dancin' Bare	85 (-12)
Devil's Point	89 (-5)
Dolphin 1	87 (+1)
Dolphin 2	86* (+3)
Double Dribble	84 (-8)
Dream on	91 (-8)
Hawthorne Strip	86 (+1)
Jody’s	100 (+1)
Lucky Devil Lounge	91 (+1)
Lure	96 (+19)
Mary’s	100(+12)
Montegos	98 (-1)
Nicolai st	100 (+2)
Pirate’s Cove	97 (NC)
Riverside Corral	95 (-5)
Safari	98 (+4)
Sassy’s	80 (+6)
Soobie’s	89 (-8)
Star’s Cabaret Beaverton	94 (+9)
Star’s Cabaret Bridgeport	91 (+8)
Sunset Strip	95 (+6)
Tommy’s Too	88 (-10)
Wild Orchid	98
Union Jack’s	88 (-4)

Washington County

Multnomah County

Clackamas County

The once and future heel

A lot of professions have shoes specific to job. There is everything from steel toed boots to anti-static sneakers. Stripping has its own custom foot wear too. What’s different about stripper platforms is that they don’t make any changes to the shoe to accommodate functionality. It’s definitely form over function in the stripper shoe world.

I’m not sure if this is a sign I’ve been hanging out in strip clubs too long or I’ve been an engineer too long, but I’ve actually experimented with trying to improve stripper shoes from a functionality point of view.  

The first thing I noticed is that the vamp does double duty in a high heel. It both retains the top of the foot to prevent you from stepping out of the shoe when you walk and it also bears a fair amount of the person’s weight as well. The angle of the insole pretty much wants to force foot off the front of the shoe. The vamp captures the front of the foot and the person’s weight is applied to the out edges of the foot, something that normally doesn’t occur when the foot is flat. If you look at the picture of the clear heel you actually see skin being crushed flat against the plastic on the outside of the little toe. The hard plastic also tends to focus all the weight on small points of the foot..

My initial idea was modify the vamp. The does double duty, it has to capture the foot and support the weight and look good. The problem is that most shoes are purely made for looks. The hard plastic may look cool, but you’re pretty much cramming your foot into a clear sausage extruder. The plastic isn’t going to give so the foot is forced into an unnatural shape to fit the vamp. I’ve seen dancers that used hair dryers to soften the plastic to fit the foot better, but this will weaken the plastic and the shoe will probably break a lot sooner. Breaking in shoes usually means crunching your foot into a new shape.

My thought was to create two separate pieces for the vamp. There would be an internal band that would be purely functional and an out piece that would be for looks. The advantage of separating the two pieces is you can different materials for each piece. You could use a more compliant material like elastic on the internal vamp. This would prevent the weight from being focused on a single point. The outer piece would be purely decorative. It could also be replaceable. Since it doesn’t have to be attached securely you could have multiple out straps to change the look of the shoe or to customize them.

I made a fixture that matched the basic shape of the insole and experimented with how tight and large an elastic band would have to be to effective. I quickly ran into a problem with elastic. In order to keep the foot from slipping the elastic had to be so tight it was very uncomfortable. Instead of an extruder the shoe became vice. Their might be some softer, more compliant polymers or other materals that would work better but that is out of my field of expertise.

One thing I was able to get work fairly well was to create a replaceable insole. Like any work shoe stripper heels can definitely stink after a while. I got my hands on a pair of old clear heels and went to work. I carved a pocket into insole of the shoe that would hold an aftermarket gel insert. Added a little Velcro on the bottom of the insert to keep it in place. It actually ended up working really well. You ended up with shoe that you could pull the insole out and either wash or replace it. I'm sure somebody has probably done this already, but I haven't seen it yet.

I think the real future is going to be printable shoes. 3D printers are actually becoming very affordable. I’m seeing a lot more examples of those that have been created with 3D printers.

3D Printed Shoes

I was thinking of creating a software package that would literally let you print a pair of shoes. More importantly the software would let you modify to the size and shape of the shoe. You could make the shoe wider and narrower to match your foot exactly. You could also add you own designs and logos to your shoes.

I’m not sure where the 3D technology is as far as strength and colors go. Most printers now can only do one or two primary colors. The shoes in the picture above and the black accents airbrushed on. But I imagine its only a matter of time before it becomes practical. Maybe I should create a kickstarter profile to develop a custom shoe making software.

Dancer Maladies

Here are some imaginary afflictions I see dancers getting from time to time. They are kind of silly, but I don't feel very serious right now.




Poleo
this is a dancer affliction where she exhibits extreme reluctance to move more than arms length from the pole the entire set. The dancer shows an aversion to approaching any customers. She will maintain physical contact with the pole at all times. This affliction is most commonly seen in baby strippers, but will occasionally be observed in more experienced dancers. It must be terrifying the first time on stage for a dancer. There really isn't any way to practice stripping, she get thrown to the wolves, literally. Have you noticed the expressions some guys have around the stage? Predatory would be the most accurate description of their looks. Most dancers get better and start to engage customers around the rail. Some dancers will exhibit Poleo when nobody is tipping. They'll just lean against the pole and glare at the crowd. I can't blame them, why give it away for free.

Recommended treatment: Money. Once the dancer learns that she’ll make more money engaging the customers she’ll release her death grip on the pole. Also dancers tend to glare less when they are being tipped.


Stripper Munchausen By Proxy Syndrome
This is where the dancer need for money results more and more outlandish stories being told to customers in hopes of greater financial rewards through sympathy. Stripper Munchausen by Proxy is sometimes shortened to the term Stripper BS. Seriously, I'd like to record some of these stories. I wonder if she is playing a game to see how ridiculous of a story she can get away with. I really hate it when a dancer I've know calls me up because I'm her 'only hope'. She should have called Obi-wan Kenobi instead. I already pay good money for the pleasure of your company. Please don't expect me to pay for your bad judgement. The sad part is when I hear what's really going on from other dancers. The real reason for your cash short fall is you had to post bail to spring your deadbeat boyfriend, not your cat needs triple bypass surgery.

One dancer gave me a long sad story about how she spent her last pennies buying food for her cat instead of paying her phone bill. Now her cell was going to be turned off and if that happened she wouldn't be able to schedule, which means she wouldn't be able to work, which would get her evicted and she and her well fed cat would have to beg for money at a freeway off ramp. Then in the same breath she told me how happy she was with the results the tooth whiteners strips she just bought were giving her. Whitening strips or phone bill? Either you have the worst decision making skills ever, or you're dumb as a box of rocks, or you are trolling a line of BS hoping some poor schmuck bites to save you the effort of actually having to work. Probably a combination off all three.

Recommended treatment: None. The condition can be mitigated some by the application of extreme amounts of sarcasm when the stories start.



Clydesdale Tourette's syndrome
This syndrome presents itself in the form of the dancer obnoxiously clicking her heels together on stage like a draft horse trying to count to three. Sometimes the dancer will kick the stage or slam the pole up and down in its fittings. Ladies I'll let you in on a little secret about guys. We will always notice a naked woman on a stage. Always. Do you really think that we suddenly look up and wonder where you suddenly came from? Holy shit, a naked girl in seven inch heels standing in the middle of the stage, where did she come from? At a strip club no less, wow, who would have thought. Yes, the guys are ignoring you for all wrong reasons, but we know you are there. I know the purpose of clacking your heels is point out that the guys aren't tipping and hopefully shame them into doing right thing. Doing it too much is one of the few things a dancer can do to insure that I won't tip. Also, don't slam a spinning pole up and down it wrecks the bearings. Do this too much and girls who do a lot of pole tricks will begin to plot your death. Your car will explode when you go to drive home one night.

Recommended treatment: High explosives and detonator packed into her heels.


Dancer Zombification
This syndrome presents with  the dancer being so distracted on stage she appears to have no brain function. Zombification’s primary difference Poleo is in the fact the dancer is simply going through the motions, she is simply working through a well practiced routine being completely indifferent to the customers. This is one of the few things I can empathize with dancers. I done presentations at a some trade shows where I don’t see the crowd. I just mechanically plod through the presentation like I’m talking to myself. I can imagine a dancer doing the same thing. She walk’s up the stage, the exact same guys are there from the last time she was up. She know’s how much she’s going to get tipped, the guys reaction, and what mindless comments the DJ will make. Of course, the primary cause of Zombie dancers is Zombie customers. There probably is nothing worse than customers who just sit motionless at the stage.

Recommended treatment: Ethanol taken orally, stat.

I got my gruntle dis'd

I was kind of excited when I saw the AngryStripper was coming to Portland. I had been following her situation since being terminated from the Houston Chronicle. I was amazed to see that Gloria Allred (or at least her firm) was going to take her case against her former employer. Gloria Allred is one of the highest profile lawyers in the county. I’d love to ask the AngryStripper about her.

She was scheduled to be in Portland on June 20^th at the Wild Orchid. I have to admit I was surprised at the location. The Wild Orchid is probably one of the last clubs I would have expected. To be candid, I don’t know much about the club. I figured she would have headed to one of the better known clubs like one of the Stars Cabaret locations or Devil’s Point but scheduling will make for odd bedfellows. I didn’t even know where the Wild Orchid was located. 

The first thing that struck me when I looked up Wild Orchid’s address is that the club was less than quarter mile from where an airliner had crashed in Portland. That plane crash is one of those memories that are burned into my psyche. At the time accident I only lived about a two miles from the crash site. I remember riding my bike there the following morning. The police had only taped off the aircraft's fuselage. The rest of the crash site is still open and you could still wander around and examine much of the wreckage up close. Seeing a jet engine stuck in hedge surrounded by twisted bits of wing leaves an impression. I still think about the crash every time I step on board a plane.

She is supposed to start at 9:30pm at the Wild Orchid. Almost nothing starts on time in the strip club world. I figured 10:30pm or so for the actual starting time. Since I have to be at work the next morning I’m a little reluctant to head out. I decide that I can drink a pot of coffee tomorrow at work and head out for the evening.

I arrive just after 9:30. The first thing that surprised me about the club is how small it is.  I’d estimate it’s about the size of a typical McDonald’s. It’s a lot smaller than most of the clubs I hang out at. The VIP area is basically a couple couches surrounded by some curtains. There are two stages in the club. Granted it's still a nice club, but it’s not the kind of club you’d expect to see feature acts at. Compared to some of the clubs I’ve been to in Texas it’s positively tiny. The crowd isn’t bad but not really spending a lot of money. The racks are mostly empty. At 9:45 on a Wednesday the stage sets are averaging $5 per song. You know you’ve been hanging out at strip clubs too long when you start auditing how much people are tipping. The bar staff definitely kicks ass there. I never had to wait for a drink.

I order a drink and grab a seat near the stage. I notice in the back somebody struggling a little with a pop-up banner. I used these things all the time at shows. After a little bit of work with some assistance from a bouncer a banner with the art work from the book is setup. Cool, maybe things will start soon. Nope, I wait an hour and no sign of the guest of honor. They had gone through the entire rotation of dancers and were starting to recycle girls. I was trying to decided how much longer to stay when the DJ announces that Sarah Tressler will take the stage at 11:30pm. Fuck. I decided to cut my losses and head home. I notice that a bunch of other guys are leaving at the same time I am. Probably coincidence but I wonder if they're ticked off too. 

The Wild Orchid ad listed 8pm, the tweets had 9:30, and the DJ is telling me 11:30pm. Why can’t strip club events ever happen at a reasonable time? Seriously, does the book buying public hang out at strip clubs at 11:30 on a Wednesday? To be fair this was probably meant to be more a media meet up than stage performance. I’m guessing the visit was more for the local bloggers than the general public. Portland seems to have more than it’s fair share of stripper bloggers. I’m still annoyed though.  Any interest in buying her book evaporated on the way home. The book is apparently made of her blog old posts, in which case I’ve probably read most it already. She does reference my blog in one of her posts. It would be cool if she left that in but I really doubt it. Links to external blogs posts don’t translate well to books.

A new scam

I ran into a new stripper scam a couple weeks ago. It wasn’t a very good scam but I’d never seen it before. I haven’t run into many girls trying to scam me recently. This is mostly because I only talk to dancers who have been working for the club for some time. Dancers who try to rip off customers usually don’t last that long. 

There really isn’t many ways dancers can blatantly rip off customers. Either they flat lie about the number of dances or the try to min-max a dance. A min-max dance is where the dancer does absolutely the least amount of work for the maximum amount of money. Typically she’ll start the dance halfway though the first song. Then end the last dance halfway through the last song. In between she’ll do as little as possible, mostly just posing. If it was possible to take a nap while doing a lap dance, she’d do that. This girl had a new strategy. She got to pay for all the dances up front and then tried to get kick out during the first dance. I'm pretty sure she'd keep the money, for her troubles. 

I normally wouldn’t have even approached this particular, but the waitress told me I should really get dances from her. The dancer was her friend and really cool, she also was having a bad day too. I don’t know why but it never ends well when a waitress tries to set me up.  Maybe it’s just confirmation bias and I only remember the terrible dancers. In any case they always seem to end up being a bad experience. But a few shots of Jack Daniels had pretty much erased any reluctance I had at that point, so I asked the waitress to invite the dancer over.

I recognized her when she sat down with me. She had been a pretty high profile performer about five years ago. You couldn’t open a copy of exotic magazine with out seeing her in an ad. Apparently her post stripping career had hit a bump and she was back dancing again. We chatted for a bit. She seemed a bit drunk, but I really couldn’t tell how much. Some people are better at hiding it then others. She asked for some dances.

She asked me to pay for the dancers up front. I’m fine with that. As a customer I’m guilt till proven innocent. Until I build up trust with a dancer she’s best served by treating me as a deranged psychopath. I paid for four dances. She started out by breaking a several club rules about what to wear and other things. Like I said, I’m guilty till proven innocent so I keep my hands at the 10 and 2 o’clock position by my side. If she wants to break the rules then that’s her business. She did a quick check to see where the bouncer was.

I’ve been going to the club long enough that the bouncers basically ignore me. I don’t have any special privileges but in the scheme of things I’m the least of their problems. I don’t drink too much, the dancers like me, I spend money.  As long as I don’t cause any drama they are happy to spend their time on more important things. The bouncer was else where in the club.

The dance progressed on normally until the bouncer returned. Once the bouncer was close she grabbed my hand and pushed it into an inappropriate location. I tried to pull it away but she was keeping where it was. It would have resulted in a pretty obvious tug of war so I left it where it was.  It was the least conspicuous thing to do. Also, I’m a nice guy but not a monk. The bouncer still ignored us and turned to walk off. The dancer then began to slap her ass really hard with her free hand and kept my other hand in place. She kept leaning back trying to get the bouncers attention. The bounce walked off anyway.

Once the bouncer walked away she let go of my hand. I put my hands back. As the second song started the bouncer returned. The dancer tried again to relocate my hands. This time I just kept my hands where they should be. She got frustrated. She was basically trying to get me kicked out for having my hands where they shouldn’t be. Unfortunately for her, neither I nor the bouncer was going to play along.

Eventually she switched to a more straight forward method. She just got up and walked off. I didn’t object. It wasn’t worth going after her for the money. After that day I never saw that dancer again. I suspect the bouncer probably knew what was going on the entire time. I’m pretty sure she got kicked out after trying that scam on a few guys. I probably should have said something if the dancer is scamming customers. It’s easier to keep my mouth shut. I’m just trying to relax and have a good time.

My own misconceptions

You see the world through the prism of your past experiences.  How I’ve come to view dancers has changed dramatically since I first started hanging out in strip clubs. I’ve probably changed more than I realize. It’s difficult to really see yourself, everybody has blind spots. I’d probably shock myself if I could go back and time and interview me after my first time visiting a strip club. I recently reread some of my older personal journal posts that reflected some of my early misconceptions. I don’t keep a formal journal, but I often write about things. The process of writing forces me to look at things differently. It’s harder to lie to myself when I’m writing. I’ll usually delete the entry after I’m done writing it, but I’ve kept a few of them in my personal files. Here are a few of the misconceptions I’ve hard about dancers over the years that I saw in those early posts.

Strippers are stupid

Obviously nobody would get up on stage and take their clothes off in front of a bunch of drunken strangers if they had a real education. Right? Wrong. Of all my misconceptions this was the one that was dispelled the quickest. I tend to listen a lot more than I talk. It didn’t take long to realize a lot of dancers are very, very smart, in both scholastic and practical ways. I think a lot of folks can’t get past their preconceptions of dancers. They want to believe dancers are dumb. I’m not sure if it’s to build them selves up or to reinforce their stereotype. I’ve experienced intellectual prejudice. I worked as a gas station attendant while in college. People assume if you’re filling up cars to make a living you are probably just slightly smarter than the gas pump you’re standing next too.  People can be really condescending. I was told a few times “What do you know? You work at a gas station”.  And they were sober. I can’t imagine what drunken insanity dancers deal with.

Strippers are heartless

I used to assume all dancers had utter disdain for their customers. Customers were just walking wallets to be harvested. This may be true for some dancers, but not for a lot of them. I think it’s easier for me as a customer to feel this way as well. If I say or do something rude to a dancer it can just write it off as “it doesn’t matter, she only wanted my money”. For either dancer or customer point of view it can be pretty dehumanizing. When I fainted at a strip club and ended up in the emergency room I was really surprised to find out a dancer had spent her Saturday night in the waiting room to see if I was OK. That really floored me. I never expected a dancer to do that. I figured once I was rolled out the back door they’d go back to business as usual. I don’t go into clubs assuming that every dancer is going to be my friend. But I don’t expect them to all be heartless vultures either.

Strippers have no ambition

A girl becomes a stripper because she doesn’t want anything better for herself. The logic of that sentence is hopelessly twisted and flawed. I’m not sure why I even had that idea. This is mostly me imposing my own social preconceptions on somebody else. I’ve met dancers will all sorts of different levels of ambition. Some are the cliché dancer who only works enough to cover her next set of bills to other dancers who accomplish more things a month than I do in a year. It makes me tired just following them on twitter. This is true in any profession. I know engineers who only do enough to keep from getting fired, others who are trying to reinvent the world. It’s people not the profession that make the difference.

Strippers have no morality

Again this is me projecting my Iron Age witch burning puritan Anglo-Saxon ethics I was raised with on somebody else. I was raised in a society where public nudity is bad. Playboy was a “dirty” magazine, kept hidden behind special racks at the store. You had to be 17 to see an R rated movie. Taking your clothes off for money was not what moral people did. This fallacy really faded quickly when I came to grips with the fact there wouldn’t be strippers without strip club customers (me). The fundamental hypocrisy of that idea is painful. Am I that blind to my own imperfections? I’m as integral to the strip club world as the strippers. Without guys spending money dancers are just broke naked women standing alone on a stage. Talk about throwing stones in glass houses. The larger issues is exactly what about stripping is bad?

Most of this post stems from conversations I had with a spokes model at a CES show a few years ago. She was hired to present the products I was supporting at our booth. We were staying at the same hotel and had the same schedule. We hit it off and I sort of became her older brother. She was strikingly beautiful. And she was constantly hit on by conventioneers, I mean constantly. I calculated she was propositioned once every fifteen minutes. When I was around it at least slowed guys down some. 

One day at lunch she was telling me about her trip to a strip club one night. It was the usual stranger in a strange land kind of experience. She just couldn’t believe a woman could do that for money. We got into a lengthy discussion about how her job compares to stripping. I’m pretty sure I changed her opinion of dancers for the better. I at least convinced her that not all dancers are train wrecks.

Her (and my) misconceptions are really are just really different as aspects of a larger one. The misconception stripping is bad and if somebody is doing it they must have failed somewhere. This is just patently false. If you described a typical a person as in young, self employed, making enough money to comfortable you’d probably be impressed. Most people that age are struggling to make ends meet and probably still living with their parents. You add the word “stripper” to that same description and everything changes yet nothing has changed. They are still the same person.

I’ve think there are four categories dancers fall into when it comes to why they are dancing. Obviously they are dancing to make money but they’re larger situation is much different. Most girls are dancing not because they are morally bankrupt its their situation that determines it. This is a breakdown as I perceive it. Most dancers don’t fit exactly into a category but they generally fall into one.

The Professional Stripper

This is what she does for a living. She isn’t going to school or waiting for something better to come along. She is happy to strip for a living. Most professional strippers I know are college educated. She chose to do this as a living.

The Lifestyle Stripper

This dancer loves everything about stripping except stripping. It would be a great job except for the customers, the sleazy management, and other strippers. They like the money and the huge flexibility the job gives them. The like working in a bar, the late nights, and their friends they work with. However, they really don’t like the stripping itself. It’s just a necessary evil they have to put with to get the other perks. Stripping isn’t the perfect job but it is close enough to keep doing.

The Best Option Stripper

The girls dance because it’s their best option at the moment. The job provides enough income and flexibility to accomplish what they want in life like going to school or raising their kids. Most would quit stripping in a heartbeat if they could find another job with that let them accomplish the same things. Unfortunately most of society doesn’t see stripping as a best option.

The Only Option Stripper

These are the train wreck girls who strip because it’s they only thing they can do. Whether its drugs or personal problems they can’t function at most jobs. One perk about stripping (at least in Portland) is it’s virtually impossible to get fired. Even if you do get ‘fired’ you can go work at another club down the road. These are the cliché strippers you typically see in the media. They make for entertaining reading. Sadly, they end up representing what most people think strippers are like even though they are, in my opinion, the smallest percentage of dancers.

I think most folks would find this odd, but I’ve probably grown as a person from hanging out at a strip club. I’ve had to confront some of my deep seated biases about other people. We all have blind spots when it comes to ourselves. I hope I always have the desire and courage to try and find mine.