The rumor mill

This is probably, no not probably, is a rather sexist observation, but if you take a dressing room full of women, liberally add alcohol and nicotine, you will get enough gossip and rumors to defy belief. I'll use myself as the example. I've been asked on at least six different occasions "are you" or "who long have you been dating X". Every time I get asked this I'm always left flummoxed.

In most cases I've become friends with the dancer in question. The fact she seems to spend a lot of time with me with out getting paid is enough to start tongues wagging. Several dancers used to hang out with me as a safe harbor. They could sit out on the floor without fear of getting bothered by customers or other dancers. That was back in the day, dancers used to have more business than they wanted. They also didn't want to go back in the dressing room either, too crowded or too much drama going on in there. The fact that I'd buy the drinks didn't hurt either. Some dancers would also leave their purse with me. I hate that. The worse thing in the world is to have to go to the bathroom, but I can't because her purse is at the table. What do I do? Take the purse with me to the bathroom? Somehow I think that might look a little suspicious. I can't leave it unattended at the table. So I sit there with my legs crossed. Occasionally I'll get a smart ass remark from a waitress "you purse is soooo cute", (you got to be kidding, do you think I'd wear that purse with these shoes, ugh). But obviously if she's going to spend more than the minimum amount of time and leave her purse (i.e. money) with me, we must be dating. Doesn't really add up, but it makes a good story.

There are a lot of dancers and former dancers that I'm friends with outside the club. We call each other, trade e-mails and text messages and even occasionally meet for lunch or coffee. Consequently I tend to know about how they are doing. The fact I know that a dancer is now working at X, and her sister is working at Y, and her son is doing well in school. This means that I communicate with them. Nothing more. Twice I've been asked "How do you know that? Are you two dating?" No, I know these things because I actually listen when people talk to me. I even return phone calls and texts. Well usually I do. This kind of reminds me of conspiracy theories. A conspiracy theory is much more exciting than the mundane reason. The rumor that dancer X is dating a customer is much more juicy.

Other industries have rumors as well. But in the twenty plus years of working in hi-tech, I've only been accused of dating co-workers once. What's really odd is that of the three dancers I have dated, nobody suspected them. Actually I've only really dated one dancer. Of the other two, one was kind of flakey and I never really figured out her intentions. The other was just playing me for money, a lot of money. More about that in another blog.