It's really easy to sit back and criticize something. I've taken some shots at the club management. I'd like to think they are well founded criticisms, I but I know damn well things happen for reason. Things that look stupid to me may make sense if I knew all of the details. What would I change if I were in charge?
Let people wear their baseball caps backwards
Just recently I watched a bouncer politely ask a customer to turn his baseball cap around. It made me think (always a risky thing) not to long ago I was at a trade show, I spent forty five minutes in a conversation about improved OLED readability in high ambient light condition when applied to cockpit avionics with the addition of circular polarization. Which is a complicated way of saying can you see the stupid thing in daylight. This astonishingly dry conversation was with five other engineers and physicists. Two of which we're wearing their baseball caps backwards. At 46 I was the youngest person there. This weekend I was watching a cartoon in which bugs bunny was wearing his baseball cap backwards. Middle aged techno-geeks are wearing baseball caps backwards, Saturday morning cartoon characters wear their baseball caps backwards. Why can't people wear their baseball caps backwards at the Dolphin? Maybe in the 1990's wearing your backwards was edgy and gangsta'. Now it's completely and utterly main stream. Am I really that concerned about how I wear a baseball cap? No, frankly my fat, shiny head looks equally bad with or without any dressing. But this does reflect the "in business in spite of your customers" attitude. When a bouncer walks to up to customer and asks him to turn his cap around, all they are doing is making a customer feel uncomfortable. He's is doing something wrong. Pretty much every where else nobody will even give you a second look. It makes the place look completely out of touch.
No drum solo's in the bathroom
There are some things that I don't want to be seen doing and I'm pretty sure 100% of the population of the earth doesn't want to see me do. I don't want to have an audience when I take a piss. I really don't want musical accompaniment either. Give me a break. I've been to clubs where they've had attendants. These are usually really big clubs, with bathrooms big enough that the attendant has his own section. It’s supposed to add a bit of class, instead it's just ridiculous. D1 is worse. I'm not sure if they still have one but last time I was there they had an attendant. Standing, taking a piss into a stainless steel trough next to a stall with no door, four feet away from a guy who wants you to tip him is not an elegant situation. It just pegs the needle on the creepy meter.
Couches
Replace those god awful things. These couches have gone from pathetic to safety hazards. Seriously, I watched dancer kneel on the couch, only to have a leg disappear up to her waste into the couch. If would have been funny if she hadn't cut her knee badly in the process. Most dancers have to stuff the seams of the couches in order to make the useable. They have to scramble around and grab assorted parts to make it work. It looks like some sort of man vs. wild thing and discovery channel. They don't have to new couches, or nice couches. Just couches without pit traps and punji sticks. Maybe they can it into event where they smash the old couch to pieces on stage. Then take the proceeds from the show to buy new couches. Dancers with sledgehammers. Now there's a scary yet entertaining thought. Now that could a theme for the MNO contest. A little performance art of smashing a couch, lighting it on fire, then throw the flaming pieces at the fog machine.
Speaking of fog machines
This is a piece of show equipment that is hated by a surprisingly large number of people. It's probably the combination of cigarette smoke, crowds, and no ventilation that makes it bad. But everyone seems to blame the fog machine. I have seen DJs in the past use the machine like they are trying to flea bomb the building. Fortunately, it seems to be broken or empty most of the time.
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