One question that consistently irritates dancers is ”what’s
your real name?” I constantly see assorted twitter feeds gripes about customers
asking what their real name is. One dancer even made 'What's your real name' her twitter handle (https://twitter.com/nakedinatx). I
think that when you are in the industry it becomes so common that it seems
perfectly normal. But if you’re not in
the industry it’s really weird. While I can’t speak for the entire customer
community, I think I can explain the interest.
Outside of the strip club world, where else do you deal with
people face to face that won’t tell you their name? Pretty much nowhere else
does this occur. Everywhere else people will at least give you their first
name. Not only will a dancer not give you her real name, she’ll give you a
really odd name. Where else will
somebody sit down next and introduce themselves “Hi, my name is Skittles”, or
Calico, or Peanut, or Viagra, or Sinful. Really, I’m supposed to just pass a
name like that off as an everyday occurrence? In the stripper world this is no
big deal, but outside the club, it’s really odd.
When some dancer sits down and introduces herself with I
always want to answer back “wow, your parents sure had a sense of humor”. I know there are very good reasons for using a
stage name, but how would you react if the person fixing your car introduced them
as Gizmo, and wouldn’t give you their real name. You are completing a cash transaction with somebody that won’t
tell you who they are. Except for drug
dealers (exotic pharmacist?) who else does this? Would you buy something from a
person who refused to identify themselves? Strip club customers are asked to.
I’ve made light of the stage name concept in other posts. I
used to be really fascinated by dancers versus their real names. I even kept a
list of names to see if I could find a pattern between the two (I couldn’t).
However, Facebook has kind of removed that mystery. I have a ridiculously small
number of friends. Most people’s pets have more Facebook friends than I do. I
really don’t care actually. But Facebook seems to care. It helpfully posts ‘people
you may know’ every time I log in. Most
of the time it’s a dancer. Once you become friends with one dancer you are one
or two steps away from a hundred other dancers. It’s sort of six degrees of
Kevin Bacon Facebook stripper style. I’ve learned a ton of dancer’s real names
from Facebook. The name novelty has worn off.
Seriously I don’t think most dancers realize how easy it is
to locate them on Facebook once you have one dancer friend. Not only that they don’t setup their privacy features
at all. If you’re a dancer setup your Facebook privacy, it will save you a lot
of grief in the future.
Is it a big deal that a dancer won’t tell you her real name?
No, it isn’t. But it is really unique to
the industry. I know musicians and actors use fake names, but I don’t typically
meet them in person when I buy their product. Other sex workers use fake names too, but I
don’t interact with them. It may be annoying as hell, but I think dancers will
be asked that question as long as there are strip clubs.
I would never ask a stripper for her real name. Nevertheless, most dancers I've spent any significant amount of time with (a drink, a lap dance or two, a champagne room session) volunteer the information. To be sure, usually it's just their first name; I guess they think they're still protecting themselves that way. I like knowing their names, not because I want to stalk them, but because it's basic Human Dynamics 101: people grow to like and trust another person who lets you call them by their given name. "Please, Mr. Nelson is my dad, call me Jim!" Familiarity breeds affection and trust.
ReplyDeleteBy the same token, it begins to grate on me when I become a frequent customer of a stripper and she DOESN'T give me her name. I respect and understand the impulse to remain anonymous, but there's no denying that it can come across as a snub, and it feels like an obstacle to a flourishing customer relationship. But that's just me.