What she's not telling you.

Too much information can be a problem once a dancer really gets to know you. I’ve had bodily functions, infections, drainage, injuries, family problem and more all described to me in exquisitely repulsive detail. Way more than I ever wanted to actually know. I take this as a badge of honor that I’m trusted with less than elegant information.

There is one subject most dancers are very reluctant to talk about: Their boyfriend (or girl friend as the case may be). There have several dancers I’ve considered really good friends that never mention if they are in a relationship or not. It’s none of my business of course. It still a weird to listen to them dance around different subjects. They’ll be talking about decorating or something to do with their living space and they’ll unconsciously start referring themselves as “we”. We went down and looked at carpet, we went and bought new furniture, and so forth. I once pointedly asked “we?” when one dancer was talking about buying furniture. Kind of a stupid thing to do, it just made her uncomfortable and made her come up with a quick lie.

I understand why dancers don’t talk about their dating life. In the fantasy world of strip clubs dancers are more desirable if they might be obtainable. I think an even more telling reason is how absolute this rule is. This seems to be a pretty universal standard in dancer blogs and twitter posts. Even when dancers have told me they are married or dating somebody, they are still really reluctant to talk about it. Perhaps reluctant isn’t the best word, more like conditioned to not talk about it. It’s definitely the exception when they won’t bring up a subject. Usually getting a dancer to quit talking is a bigger problem.

Does it make a difference to me if the dancer is in a relationship or not? It does a little. I don’t delude myself thinking the dancer will want to start dating me. I have to admit the idea is in the back of my head. I suppose if I didn’t I wouldn’t find her attractive. Its does alter the way I’ll talk to her. I stay away from the subject of boyfriends since it usually only makes for an awkward situation, but I’m much more inclined to ask questions if the dancer is in a relationship (provided she rings up the topic). The odds are if she is wandered on to the subject with out realizing it, it will just get difficult.

From a purely practical point of view, look at all the dancers working a shift. To think they are all currently available at the moment in time is utter lunacy. Meeting guys is not a problem for a typical dancer (meeting decent guys is a different issue). I discovered that while dating a dancer. She got hit on constantly. If was funny, the first time we went out, she showed up wearing a bandana, baggy peasant blouse, long skirt, and boots. She could have walked off the set of Fiddler on the Roof. I didn’t say anything at the time, but she told me later she just wanted to have dinner without a bunch of guys trying to dry hump her leg.

Strip club customers can be a rather unstable crowd. I just read a blog post by Natalia where she expertly shreds a customer tantrum. Hazards like that are something way beyond the experience of most people. There are some subjects probably best left unmentioned. Espeically when it affects your income.