A new look for Todd

There are few dancer accoutrements that are so universally reviled at glitter. You can tell by the aliases glitter, “Slut Dust”, “Clitty Litter”, and “Divorce Dust”. The basic problem with glitter is when one dancer wears glitter, all the dancers wear glitter. And occasionally some of the customers.. The stuff goes every where, including the customers. I’ve never been married so I never had to deal the “divorce dust” issue, but it has lead to a couple of embarrassing moments.

I try not to categorize people just because of their profession, but strip club owners can be some of the cheapest bastards on the face of the earth. They tend to cut corners on things like drink napkins, light bulbs, or furniture. I know when the club was having a good month because they would have a new bungee cord to pull the men’s room door closed. During bad months the door would just kind of hang there. If you want more privacy you need to buy more drinks.

Another favorite method of saving money owner’s employ is not turning on the heat. I’ve seen owners standing in jeans, sweat shirt, and coat thinking the heat is fine while the dancer dressed in a g-string and little else is freezing to death. I stopped by the club during the spring time. It was nice and warm during the days but the nights still got cold very quickly. It was one of those freezing nights in the club. I wore my black vest the entire time I was there.

The following morning I threw the same black vest on again and headed off to work. We were doing some testing on a display that was going to be installed in an ATM machine. If you visited a Bank of America ATM recently you were using the LCD module we we’re testing that day. On displays used outdoors we do a day light readability test. Basically you blast the display with light and make sure you can still read it. By blasting light I mean 100,000 lux. Most homes are lit at 150 lux. We’re talking a bank aircraft landing lights all pointed at small spot. Part of my job is to make sure the electronics works. Because of the heat generated by the lights we keep the optical lab as cool as possible between tests so I was keeping my vest on.

During the test I had stepped in front of the lights to check something when I heard laughter break out behind me. Then I heard “Holy shit Todd, that’s a new look for you”. I turned around confuse. “Dude, it’s your vest. You look like Liberace”. The back of my best was covered in glitter. In the test lights I twinkled like a planetarium exhibit. Apparently I had sat down in chair slathered in clitty litter. “Why didn’t you invited any of us along” one of the others guy quipped. One advantage of working in a sales and marketing group is you don’t have worry about people knowing you hang out in strip clubs. More than likely they are spending more time there than you are. I took off the vest.