It's the thought that counts

There are only a few dancers I really hated. There have been many that have annoyed me and I probably annoyed them. I’m sure hate is the right word, but I did not like her at all. The really surprising part is she was really well liked and respected by other dancers and waitresses. Other dancers would rave a about how cool she was. For the remainder of the post I’ll refer to her as Cherub. Cherub is a very subtle hint to her actual stage name for those who are interested. This girl was really fabulous looking though.

It’s not entirely uncommon for dancers to recommend getting from other girls who are new or having a bad night. Buts it really rare that dancer will promote another girl just because she’s so cool. I decided to bite and get a couple dances from Cherub. I stat at her rack for the set. At the end of the set when she came around to pick up her tip I asked her for a couple dances. Cherub looked me up and down for a second, said no and continued on picking up her tips. I didn’t really take it too personally. Perhaps she had another customer, maybe she didn’t do dances any more, or maybe she just didn’t feel like it. I didn’t think too much. Later I mentioned to another dancer who reacted a little surprised. She was positive she had seen Cherub giving dances to other customers. She must have been drunk was their rationalization. She recommended that I try her again, that she was so much fun to be around.

The second time I watch her for a little bit to make sure she wasn’t tied up with another customer. At the time it didn’t look like it. She had spent the time before her set hanging out at the bar talking to other dancers. Again I sat at her rack. This time I watched her performance very closely. While it has very practiced, she was looked completely disconnected from customers during her set. She would look at the customer and smile, then immediately turn away. At the end of the set I again asked. This time I didn’t even get an intelligible word, just sort of a dismissive snort. Excuse me for tipping you. I definitely got my little ego stepped on. Afterwards she would never acknowledge anybody or say thank you for a tip. She had been dancing for a while and was beginning to burn out on it.

I think what really irritated me was not so much getting snubbed, but was listening to everybody else rave about how great she was. Ultimately it comes down to how the person makes you feel. She treated the other dancers and bar staff well and they loved her, she treated me with disdain.

Ultimately what makes you like or dislike a dancer is how she makes you feel. To me this is probably why attitude is so important. Why attitude is more important than looks. The dancer’s looks are very important. A persons looks affects how you will perceive them in total. If a really attractive person walks up and starts talking to you, you will probably perceive them more favorably than if somebody unattractive walks up to you and says the same thing. In a perfect world this shouldn’t matter, but it does. The really successful dancers are usually the really beautiful ones that are also really sweet as well.

Looks are just part of the package, the dancers that can make me feel like they are happy to see me. That is much more attractive and desirable than looks alone. If the dancer can identify with my interests and make me feel important that is way more attractive than just looks alone. Small things can make huge differences. I was absolutely floored when Natalia new what the Belgariad was. That was absolutely amazing to me. I love to read fantasy literature and being able to talk about that with somebody else is a wonderful thing. The common bond or interest will score more points with me than anything else.