Watching the watchers

One thing that totally surprised me about dancers is how closely they watch the crowd. Now that I truly understand that the crowd is where they make their money it makes total sense, but it was a shock when it first hit me. I suspect most guys who walk into the club never realize this. When I reached my forties I felt like I had become invisible. Its not that people don’t see you, it’s they don’t really react to you. You just become another face in the crowd. I took that mentality into the club.

After I started hanging out at the Dolphin for a couple weeks I was convinced that except for the one dancer I was buying dances from and the waitress that served me drinks nobody else in the club paid the slightest attention to me. One early Friday evening a dancer that worked that shift stopped by and introduced her self. Then she asked if I had my first screw driver yet. I blinked and sat stunned for a second, then asked her why. “That’s because you never talk to new dancers until you have your first drink”. First I was amazed that she even new what I drank. Before this moment I had never interacted with her slightest except for tipping her while she was on stage. I was even more stunned that she was right, I didn’t like talking to new dancers until I had a drink and had settle in. I never realized this until she pointed it out to me. Unfortunately for her this rattled me enough that I kind of lost interest in getting dances. I found out later that she even new how much I spent on drinks and dances.

The funny part is I do the exact same thing in my job. When I work a trade show I always qualify the customers when they walk into the booth. First thing you always check is the badge. From the badge you can determine if they are another exhibitor or competitor (be polite, but safe to ignore), press or media (grab them the second they walk in and hand them over to PR folks), university students (feign having a heart attack and run away), or a potential customer. When you scan booth floor you can pretty much tell who is what. Your competitors are walking around taking pictures of everything and writing copious notes. The press will either hang out at the reception counter or the main exhibit. Students will have multiple bags of stuff from other booths, trying to grab any piece of literature they can get their hands on and asking to be sent more. To be effective you need to be able to figure out where you need to spend you time. There are lots of people who will happily eat up all your time for their own personal interests, but at the end day you are there to make the company money. Not entertain people who have no potential for any return.

Recently I was sitting at the table when a dancer sat down with me and scanned the crowd: “Little boy, little boy, little boy, creep, loser, little boy, and a couple regulars” then sighed “I hope it picks up later”. Customer qualification is much more difficult job for a dancer than it is for me. I have second chances, as long as I get their contact information and don’t act like a complete ass they can be followed up on and re-engaged. A dancer probably doesn’t get a much second chance. Though, I think if a dancer is polite and doesn’t blow they guy off she won’t burn a bridge and might be able to get dances later.

It’s interesting to see dancers and waitresses trade information. At Dolphin one the men’s bathroom is right by the waitress station at the bar. One night after walking out of the rest room I saw my waitress at the station talking to a dancer. I walked up behind her to place an order for another drink. As I approached I heard her describing a customer to another dancer and why she should go over to talk to him and what to say. As I took another step closer I realized I she was talking about me. I snickered a little when she informed the dancer that “he was totally safe”, the waitress turned bright red when she turned around and saw me.

I have always wondered how I was actually perceived by the dancers. Was I just some loser who came in every week and threw away his money or a knight in shining armor with a 20 dollar bill glued to his forehead or something else entirely? It finally occurred to me you can tell what a dancer thinks of you by how she treats you. The dancers who treat me like a friend most likely think of me like a friend. The dancers who treat me like a customer think of me like a customer. The ones who shriek and throw shot glasses at you probably don’t like you. But she doesn’t work there anymore (and she thought I was somebody else). She didn't really throw the shot glass, but had her arm cocked and ready to launch.